Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
quickit 24
That'd be a pain in the butt to get, but it shouldn't make a big gap in OP's bank account.
hellsangel0519 6
#21 I laughed harder at this than I should have.
alex_the_tiger 14
Well get a smooth strap on and go slow. If he wants anal give it to him.
Enslaved 38
Cum on, OP. Relax-- Don't be so uptight! Oral sex makes your day Butt Anal sex makes your hole weak Too- hard?
thesmeagol 22
No #73. But im getting there.
jenninator93 18
I mean, good anal lube ranges from like $5-$15. So I'd say yes. OP, time to prepare your anus ;)
ShadowOpsV4 13
#89 knows
brandoneyez1 25
Exactly, he didn't say who was giving or taking.
greenmen 12
Well you could use the on urself
TCRII 30
Go buy a strap-on and give him anal.
Gillett 23
niiiiiice!
ThongWarrior 17
If u cant help it, enjoy it.
desoxyn242 14
It's enjoyable
StiffPvtParts 43
#108 Are you speaking from personal experience? c:
quoted 4
Try it, maybe you'll like it. It's giving him a gift, you know.
emeraldmyst 7
who knows you might find your kinky side
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
pooldude 24
as soon as i read the FML i was so happy cuz i knew someone would make this pun. so predictable!
MattM95 16
Don't you just love Christmas? Getting a good gift is a real pain in the ass.
val_is_lame97 12
aint no harm in a little anal
IamHercules 24
Depends on which side you're on.
val_is_lame97 12
haha I guess!!
ProperFanxeTrash 8
Depends on how careful the giver is with preparation.
uchihastephy88 25
Yea it can be very enjoyable on either end ;)
SuckyFMLs 18
More like something he can afford
doctorhook86 25
What's the problem? You didn't know what to get him, and he's asking for something you'll both enjoy.
Noreason89 6
not everyone likes anal sex
DippinGrizzly907 27
Did he really just assume OP would enjoy anal? If she's posting this on FML I'm guessing she won't... When I'm with someone I just assume they don't enjoy that so I won't be disappointed but pleasantly surprised if they are. "Remember, when you assume something you just make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'. -Homeless man by Subway
riddle143 15
Like most everything else in this world, how do you know you won't like it til you actually try it? Refusing to try something like that even once is definitely defensible, but you can't say you *know* you won't like it. That's like my ex who refused to let me even try to eat her out, she had never tried it and she didn't know what she was missing. I just assumed this fml was more about the to try or not to try dilemma. Guess I'm an ass and so are you #50 :P
cdncw 20
In my experience, the women who "don't like it", have never tried. In fact, the two that I dated that have/did try, DID like it (and requested it) Personally, I could care less - I'd prefer a lapdance and a ******* as a gift. :)
anoniemm 13
Well... If it's something he really wants... Maybe you can also ask him something you fantasize about... Then it's a win-win ✌️
DarksideDoll 31
Perhaps she would also like to be on the giving side of anal. *Jigsaw voice* Do you want to play a game?
Leels 8
I don't see the problem. You asked, he answered.
Likian5 26
Yeah exactly, that's why I'm pressing YDI. Unless OP specifically said she didn't want anal, she had it coming.
KitchKraft 21
Yeah, she did assk.
CoGhostRider 31
@77 haha...had it coming...
Gillett 23
Hopefully he'll be Cumming soon too #77