Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML
Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
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Top comments
subwaysurfers 13
If it's so normal, start doing that to you your mom. She'll see how 'normal' it is.
Pleonasm 36
Make an amateur horror movie out of it and become rich.
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Comments (133)
chatwithstar 7
Just a phase...hopefully.
banana527 12
How old is OPs sister?
easyprey 8
My cousin went through a phase where she would chase me around with a metal baseball bat until she trapped me in a closet, then she would just sit there waiting for me to leave.
PuggieKid 22
41- Why do I feel like your profile picture goes perfectly with this situation?
asnakelovinbabe 16
She needs a new phase... While this sounds fun, chasing someone around with a large, angry snake is way more fulfilling.
mikepzz 27
kill it with fire.
VannahJane 17
That would make OP psychotic too
THuD29 4
That escalated quickly
Pleonasm 36
Make an amateur horror movie out of it and become rich.
JenkJenks 6
Texas Mallet Massacre
ICastillo 25
How about 'LittleMiss Mallet Massacre'
KiddNYC1O 22
Quentin Tarantino(sp?) approves.
kendallw13 15
"little sister" + "giggling" = not very scary
HannahLouise96 13
But, little sister + giggling + MALLET = terrifying.
ICastillo 25
#76 when she is giggling because she wants to beat your brain out with a mallet that's scary. The little spawn of satan.
sig4life 18
No, Dameon has already Ben done. Maybe a little shinning action in Texas. Redrum with a mallet
Calingaladha 21
Toddlers and steel mallets. A new TLC show
subwaysurfers 13
If it's so normal, start doing that to you your mom. She'll see how 'normal' it is.
sonnyrosa 32
I wholeheartedly support this suggestion... post videos on YouTube
birdierising 16
Brilliant, I second that idea.
jem970 19
I have two motions, all those in favor say "aye." The ayes have it. Number 4 you may proceed with the chasing of your mother.
Sammitheshit 10
Aye!
Special_Psycho 8
AYE! AYE! AAAYYYEEEE!!!
Needafarm 22
My sister use to try to chop my head off with a shovel because she didn't want to do her chores. My mom didn't believe me till she watched her try several times.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
My sister tried this once... Just look at my profile picture. Get out while you still can, Op!
birdierising 16
Does your sister have some issues with violence...?
dontpanic_fml 32
No, 19, she sounds like a real pacifist.
outoftown 27
5- It took you mom watching "serveral times"?! One violent sister, one mentally slow mom. Congratulations on your survival.
BlowinChronic 18
Watch your back OP. Lock your door when you sleep, you don't wanna leave yourself vulnerable to attack.
wlddog 14
I find this a little disturbing. More people die in this country from hammers then guns. True fact.
that1guyyy 12
No they don't. More people die from hammers than with ASSAULT weapons, not regular ones. Don't spread shit as fact when you're stupid.
Zomg_Okay 27
That's horrible, 37! Being beaten with a hammer and then being shot as well just seems so... excessive.
ChannySai 7
Older people consider it "child's play", similar to bullying, not okay at all by any means.
GothickNihilist 15
Unfortunately I know exactly what that's like, except in my family it's my brother with knives. I hope that your mum wises up, and gets her help. Hopefully the situation gets better.
lilhellian 27
I doubt she will wise up until to late..
FlyingPie 17
I'm sure the solution will hit you soon.
whY402Jay 12
Is she on SSRIs? Better tell Feinstein to ban all assault mallets.
WhisperSoflty 20
Do you even know what SSRI's are, or what they do? I'm gonna guess no, because if you did you'd realize that your question has no correlation to this FML.
vc1990 6
actually, considering SSRI's are linked to disturbing thoughts and behavior changes in children(and chasing someone with a hammer is a disturbing behavior), and most of the school shooters were taking or had just stopped taking SSRI's, I would say it is related
whY402Jay 12
Going to start a Master's in counseling or therapy next year. Yes, I know.
gribbles 12
Am I stupid if I had to google what a SSRI is?
Alexweber929 14
No
Katy326 10
I had to google it too. Lol
laden_swallow09 35
82- Not stupid at all. If you were stupid, you would be annoying us FMLers by asking what SSRIs are. What you've done is what should be the norm, looking something up and cross-referencing for yourself.