Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my dad trusted me to go driving by myself in his car. I foolishly celebrated by doing a jump heel click, landed awkwardly, threw my hand out to stop myself falling, and scraped the whole bunch of keys down the driver's door. He trusted me for like 3 seconds and I blew it. FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
People make mistakes. You made a simple human mistake, apologized, and fixed it. You did nothing wrong. Some parents just have giant sticks up their asses and are begging for an excuse to be dicks.
bulletsinthewind 21
Wow, that's what I call an overreaction. Seems to me like they might be taking your keys for some other stupid reason they're not telling you.
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Comments (87)
lexiieeex3 32
People make mistakes. You made a simple human mistake, apologized, and fixed it. You did nothing wrong. Some parents just have giant sticks up their asses and are begging for an excuse to be dicks.
CCRider 17
Who put the sticks up their asses?
jimmer23 21
We need a great hero, like Kevin Bacon, to teach the parents to not have sticks in their asses.
skye147 20
What? Tell your parents that that's the wrong kind of drinking before driving..
skye147 20
You guys are so mean with all these down votes ?
wownochillbruh 4
You are a special kind of stupid.
elusiveshame 22
Has nothing to do with drinking...
skye147 20
And both of you are a special type of impudent and discourteous
elusiveshame 22
Aww you're butthurt on fml. Congrats, I guess?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
People are rude because you failed to read the FML properly?
SocialAmethyst 20
Don't worry #2, I got your joke and I thought it was funny.
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
Well at least that shattered any chances of you drinking and driving. No, but seriously, I love driving. That sucks. :(
Thoricsteam20 24
Sounds like you've "broken" their trust, and "shattered" any chance of you getting your keys back.
tswizz 13
Pro tip: NEVER abbreviate puns
SweetasCandy0609 28
Sounds like you "broke" that pun and "shattered" your chances of getting thumbs up.
Thoricsteam20 24
I'll keep that in mind lol
noonenoeone 22
Pro tip: Google the definition before you use a word incorrectly, especially if you're trying to correct/advise someone.
LanceGoodthrust 19
Do you think that they meant, "enquote," meaning: to put into quotation marks?
Thoricsteam20 24
Yeah that sounds about right 39
_guy_j 12
Good job, Grams! You win again
CharlesEmersonW 31
Overprotective parents most likely. Don't worry man, maybe they've had a bad day or something and just sort of took it out on you. It's gonna be fine in the end, you'll see. Best of luck !
XmasaX 24
Not overprotective, stupid.
CharlesEmersonW 31
We all do "stupid" things. Family is family, and it's one of the most important things in life. I don't think it's stupid, it's at best a overreaction :)
bulletsinthewind 21
Wow, that's what I call an overreaction. Seems to me like they might be taking your keys for some other stupid reason they're not telling you.
ThatHorse 15
As somebody who grew up with parents who acted exactly like this, I can confirm that they were in fact looking for a reason to take your keys away but they didn't want to tell you the real reason they wanted to take them away.
Batkid217 14
well that must be driving you crazy! sucks though hope you get them back soon!
jawarston 24
time to pull the tity out the mouth buddy
leogachi 15
What?
noonenoeone 22
He's saying the 19 year old needs to be more independent. Your an adult and ur parents can't take your keys away...unless they own your car in which case #8 is right and OP should be more self sufficient if they don't want to abide by someone's totalitarianistic rules.
leogachi 15
Some people just don't have the means to live on their own, though. I don't want to make an assumption on Op's part, but if he can't afford to move out yet then telling him to be more self sufficient is much easier said than done.
joelp232 17
some people have weird logic
Storvolleng 28
i've heard of overreacting but this level of it is new to me.
JayVicious 20
you must be new to fml.