Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
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Top comments
hbcbmx 5
Change the locks while hes gone ;)
geod69 8
Probably with his other mistress
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Comments (265)
raysfan6006 3
wow! That sucks.
xstream 5
he is clever, second cellphone is always a good idea for cases like this
rattusrattus 19
He's not clever. If he were clever he would not have left the evidence in his DESK DRAWER.
SadinSherman 16
Or at least put his phone on silent before he left
sikmunkee 9
well thats akward.sorry OP
2dog 15
Oooooh, he's gonna get it!
2dog 15
Oooooh, he's gonna get it!
LadyLexi 0
You, my dear, fail, Miss Repeat.
2dog 15
Sorry, my phone has a glitch so when I post something it sends it like 3 times!
2dog 15
Oooooh, he's gonna get it!
Daydreemdie 0
Ouch that sounds bad I'm so sorry but at least you found out now and not latter....
perdix 31
Get together with the mistress and either: a) Kill her b) Seduce her away from your husband c) Start planning the threesome. You've got options!
Daydreemdie 0
I like the way you think
marpay 11
I personally vote b, sounds like fun.
Daydreemdie 0
Same :) I'm evil like that....
perdix 31
I'm also inclined to vote b). Usually, I'd go with c) but I think the husband is too stupid to deserve a WMW three-way.
zombicidal 11
I pick A and C. stop staring
perdix 31
#92. A threesome with a dead *****? Hey, let's do a remake of "Weekend at Bernie's!"
bizarre_ftw 22
I'm partial to b as well but can we do b.a and kill him after?
perdix 31
I like letting him live after his wife steals his mistress from him. Death would be too easy.
RedPillSucks 33
There's always the WMW threesome where one W is the wife, and the other W turns out the be a M on closer inspection
xiaoxaio 5
DAYUM there some crazy chicks on this site
white16sox 19
170 did you just notice?
LadyLexi 0
Prob with Mistress #2? O.o If so, team up with Mistress #1 and whip his ass.
Death_the_Kidd 5
But he has a mistress, so he's probably into that type of stuff.
ty1992_farmlife 12
first they gotta find him girls!! he's gotta come home sometime (:
scrappy23 4
this dudes bout to get his ass beat i bet