Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Freakout
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
There's no such thing as a coincidence
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Top comments
hbcbmx 5
Change the locks while hes gone ;)
geod69 8
Probably with his other mistress
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Comments (265)
serenitychaos20 6
That terrifying moment wen you got 2 women ready to nag the hell out of you....if he's smart...he won't come home.
sodapopper 6
So, that method does work huh?!
MrsPegg 45
I just don't get how people can say YDI just because she answered an unknown phone. My first instinct would be to answer it too!
ChibiChibi_fml 28
An unknown phone, in someone else's desk, and your first instinct is to answer it? Really? I'm not saying that the OP deserves it because she answered an unknown phone in her husbands desk. However, I do feel that she had no right to answer the phone. It was obviously not her phone, the call would clearly not be for her, and the phone most likely has voice mail which will deal with messages. She had discovered the cause of the vibrating and that was as far as she needed to go. At the absolute most she should have shut the phone off when the ringing ended if the vibrating was that annoying. She could have asked her husband about it later. Yes, he most likely would have lied, but still, not her phone, not her business. Had it been a work related phone she could have made him look bad by answering it or caused problems if she had messed up repeating the message voice mail could have dealt with.
MrsPegg 45
Hell yea I would answer it!!! It's an UNKNOWN phone in MY HUSBAND'S desk!!! . . . And to add to it (My name isn't MRS Pegg for no reason) when you have a gut feeling that something is going on with your husband and another woman, you LOOK for a way to catch his lying ass! So yep, I would answer it. My first instinct (Which I should have stated this fact in the first place) was "Hmm, this phone could be lost and the person calling is looking for it". Call me ridiculous, I dont care either way. (And in no way was this comment meant to be taken bitchy, rude or any other choice word you would like to use. I just simply find it funny that you wrote a comment as long as this one about my idea to answer it.)
jecarper 4
Your an idiot. There MARRIED. she has every right to answer the phone. You need shot.
JinxosGirl87 0
139- You act like she is his coworker or neighbor. If my husband! has a freakin' vibrator and ringing mystery phone in his desk I have every right to answer the phone and shove that vibrator in his face to ask why the **** he has one.
dumboears 8
175, you need English lessons. And 139, they're married. He shouldn't have secrets much less be cheating on her. She had every right to answer that phone. Who wouldn't?
mairelys 21
180) He didn't have a vibrator... the phone was vibrating. 0_o
hoshi87 11
Her husband, her business. You can't have a marriage or a relationship if either one thinks me instead of we
ty1992_farmlife 12
i agree with you, you do have every right too. Saying that, i hope your boyfriend (if you have one) see's this and never does that, if he does.. tear him a new one lol
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Being married does not mean that EVERYTHING is suddenly your business. People always have secrets, people always need space. People always need stuff that is just theirs. I pity the husbands/wives of anyone who says her husband, her business because those are probably the types of spouses who snoop through their partners stuff and get pissed off when they find something they don't like. I would never go snooping through my husbands stuff and I fully expect him to stay the hell out of stuff that is specifically mine, unless it's already been discussed.
Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0
**** HIM UP!!
kipfischer 11
That will teach you to snoop, everything was fine til you opened the drawer.
shannonfeliz 0
And have her just be cheated on for the rest of her life? You're stupid.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Everything was fine until she opened that drawer? So she had a healthy relationship with her husband until she found a cellphone that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere and some lady called who immediatly turned into his mistress and her husband turned into a cheater? Either this was your conclusion or you're really that stupid. She was with a cheating bastard of a husband and she found out by some vibrating phone call who turned out to be the mistress. Just stop saying rediculous crap like this, you sound ignorant.
kipfischer 11
Had she not answered the phone, she never would have known that her husband is a cheating bastard...now she had to deal with all the mental anguish, stress, and self pitty... As any situation goes there are multiple ways of dealing with it, viewing it, etc The saying ignorance is bliss is just for these situations By your logic you would have the innocent's life destroyed statistically for most of the rest of her life Yes he's a tard, but had she not snooped her life wouldn't be over
mrsayuso 0
I guess living a lie is so much better than growing from the truth. But I guess based on your picture I can guess that you think you are some suave god's gift to women type of man, who takes no responsibility for his actions. Who am I to judge though?
dumboears 8
Her life isn't over. But her marriage possibly is. Women can survive without men, in case you didn't realize. Yes it sucks to find out the man you love is cheating. But it's better to find out then to be lied to any longer.
mgzy 0
ya stop snooping! probably makes you guys even, women are such ******
baseballgirl2100 0
what a dousche... break up with him an try to coax the mistresses to break up with him too..
bittersweet25 3
Wow what an ass I agree with 2 and 10 ambush him with the mistress and change the locks
Joanlysn 0
Is he a traveling office worker? Well they most likely come with cheating. Sorry. You should both go and confront him infront f his new mistress
MsCane 6
Today, I stupidly left my second cellphone in my drawer at home while I was with my girlfriend. My wife found it and now she and my mistress know I'm cheating on them. FML Today, I found out that my married boyfriend is cheating on me. FMLa I can't wait to see this bullshit on here soon. Her husband desperately needs his ass kicked and a taste of his own medicine. It seems to me that he gave you a "Get Dick For Free" card and you should definitely cash it in.
thereal501 2
Doing the other side of the FML is so last season.
MsCane 6
Who are you, the FML comment police? I say what the **** I want to say. All you had to do was ignore my comment. FOH!
thereal501 2
There there child. They have anger management classes in almost all cities. They are free and anonymous. We can get you the help you need.
bearjtbear 1
you deserved it. shouldn't go looking then you won't get hurt.
purple91 8
Yes, because it is best everyone be wilfully ignorant, right?