Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hbcbmx 5
Change the locks while hes gone ;)
geod69 8
Probably with his other mistress
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (265)
brandoneyez1 25
I wonder if he left both of you for another woman. In either case I'll keep my eyes in the news for another Loraina Bobbit story... Lol
Commiecakes 0
I saw the word vibrator and expected a completely different outcome.
marisadc79 0
Oh man, call the mistress back and tell her off then pack his shit and change the locks
Timja83 0
Keep the phone as evidence when you go to divorce court over alimony...
Jasonf6 0
Get rid of that loser.
thecovert 7
Dump him.
kyrintethron 0
He's probably dead.
na415 0
more like FOL?
deadlife_fml 0
Looks like its time for Maury
gabletz 2
Ooo. Ouch! Fyl OP.