Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML
Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML
Today, I found out that my husband wants to leave me. I got the message loud and clear when his girlfriend forwarded me screenshots of all their texts. FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
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Top comments
person961 9
Husband: I see another man near you in our house! Wife: Thats your reflection dear Husband: Oh... just making sure because I don't want to lose you to our pool boy Wife: We don't even have a pool boy Husband:...Click
YourEvilHero 12
the joy of having big houses...
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Comments (35)
YourEvilHero 12
the joy of having big houses...
mamamiaaa_fml 12
Who said they had a big house? Husband sounds like an idiot though.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think it would be less of an FML if they had a house big enough to actually get lost in.
skittlestrailmix 14
He's being sarcastic...
Kyzahhh 7
I don't think he is being sarcastic as much as possessive and paranoid
dinorider_fml 4
I think 10 was talking about 1
MDTeddy 13
So the husband wasn't with his wife why? I mean they were in the same building. I guess this house can easily be robbed. Just make sure the husband is home so you can go in through the door.
thandidavis 17
Huh?
HiddenValley 5
Separation anxiety much?
fatnesspig 7
He probably thought you were playing hide and seek.
person961 9
Husband: I see another man near you in our house! Wife: Thats your reflection dear Husband: Oh... just making sure because I don't want to lose you to our pool boy Wife: We don't even have a pool boy Husband:...Click
SkoomaKi 28
OP, turn off your phone and relax. Your husband can have an anxiety attack, he deserves it.
andrew6p 19
That happens when u have a husband that lacks self-confidence. Well my mom suffered the same thing yet, i had my uncles planting seeds of hate in my dad's head towards me and mom. They just want our inheritence :/
reapy 14
Thanks for your life story, my life is now fulfilled having read it.
enormouselephant 15
Make your man feel sexy, OP!
User57777 13
What a great story to tell complete strangers on the Internet.
andrew6p 19
Rape me with dislikes if u don't mind guys. Well i said what i said because i am not ashamed of what im in right now, but im disappointed with such uncles i have.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
^ I don't think anyone even understood your comment, and I also don't think anyone cares
Metallica36176 16
Everyone are assholes. I'm sorry dude. It likes they can have their opinion and speak about their life and think its special but dog everyone else for doing the same. I'm sorry man. Say what you want.
junkman6 22
I'm just wondering if he has a reason to be so worried? Someone been caught before?
Metallica36176 16
Good point but sometimes over protective people that worry about their partner cheating all the time has cheated themself and is now paranoid because of it.
lelo007 11
I'd sit him down to have a firm talk with him about this, especially if this kind of thing has happened before. There's no sense in causing undue stress on your marriage because he is simply paranoid. Good luck, OP.
Enslaved 38
Were you sleeping or something? Because it says "calls and messages". The cheating accusation is a tad bit extreme but when you don't answer your phone, it's easy to wonder where you are.
MiloBear 11
Sometimes I leave my phone charging in a room and go off doing other things in the house; then I don't always hear messages coming through. Or maybe OP forgot that her phone was on silent.
isamisis 9
I hope he doesn't cry when his favorite sports team loses.
senor_awesome 14
Or start fights at a family members funeral...
walmartpaysme 15
19, the theme is he cares too much. Nice try but that FML doesn't really fit here.