Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Foregone conclusion. Easier than 1+1.
Wizardo 34
Seems like he was trying to act like a big boy in front of his friends, tell his mother and then see what happens, prick.
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Comments (140)
shins 7
That's what any ho bag would say
itsprobablyfine 7
please tell me you kicked his ass.
brittyboo123 35
Wow, sorry that your husband is immature. Hopefully his friend won't go telling everyone.
evilplatypus 39
Then there's the fact that it would confirm the rumor the husband is spreading.
darryaz 9
"Easier than 1 plus 1"...... that's good I'll have to remember it.
magnetoo 4
Technically, you could both be telling the truth.
buckdharma 38
Let him overhear that you settled for him, and that 3+2=5.
Neesalun 20
How can he be so disrespectful to you and your marriage?? That's really sad!
rokolodo 10
Your husband is an idiot! Or his giving his friend the ok to pursue you. "Yeah, go ahead ask my wife out she's so easy" wtf, be careful.
stanjohnson 11
Tell his friends that even though you had sex with your hubby before your wedding his dick was so small you were still a virgin on your honeymoon. Then ask for volunteers to show you what a real dick looks like. That should shut him up.