Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Foregone conclusion. Easier than 1+1.
Wizardo 34
Seems like he was trying to act like a big boy in front of his friends, tell his mother and then see what happens, prick.
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Comments (140)
limitedition 25
Call him out in front of his friend. I can't imagine why he'd talk about his wife like that to his friend. What a jerk.
Emily062611 6
I think it would be more fun to find a way to bring it up with the friend while her husband can hear. Especially if he's not in the room so he can't manipulate the situation. Otherwise, she needs to calmly ask her stupid husband why he said that, and why easy girls are brag-worthy.
cbroady0529 9
Nice. He sounds like he's either feeling low and trying to figuratively puff out his chest, or is just an immature little jerk. My husband tends to be an exaggerator and can sometimes say things in reference to me that I don't appreciate. We deal with it with humor and sarcasm; he knows when I cut into his conversation with a quip that he's going too far. I suggest having a conversation that starts off calm and questioning why he'd say that, rather than angry. It will end more productively than screaming at him or tossing him on the couch, I promise!
HortonThelephant 15
With such a classy and sophisticated comment as that, I'm surprised you didn't marry a millennium prize winner..
FimogenFeels 14
Wow! Even if you weren't a virgin, he shouldn't have said that!
olpally 33
Sounds like he never pays attention to you. What a dick thing to say.
strike2867 13
I know everyone is attacking the husband, but there might be some kind of a reason he's saying that. Some kind of play afoot. It's just too weird if it's so far from the truth. Maybe he's trying to see what kind of friend the guy is based on whether he hits on you.
Chellybelly92 14
Frankly it doesn't matter if the friend thought she was a saint or some corner hooker, she's married and that's determined what kind of friend they are if they decide to hit on her or not.
singer0421 32
Do the people on here really think this is a valid reason for divorce? I mean, sorry for you OP, but just communicate with him about it.
sarah6786 14
Yes, because why not retaliate with a lie that can potentially destroy a marriage just because he said something stupid.
badgirl00069 19
^ I agree talk to him that s&*% is unacceptable but divorce really ? no wonder half the population has been married more than once
grumpybr 13
Even if OP deserved to be talked about in this disrespectful manner, I can't see why it would make her husband feel more of a man to marry such a "catch" (if she was a ***** like he described). In my country, if you marry a **** you're laughed at and people think you're an idiot who either lacks a better sense of judgment or couldn't score a woman who doesn't know the meaning of lose morals. Either way, op's husband is a complete ass.
RedPillSucks 33
Because he wants it to seem like he's the one who tamed her of her slutfull ways. Not agreeing with his behavior, just trying to explain it.
grumpybr 13
Doesn't make sense to me but might explain ops's husband's bullshit talking.