Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Foregone conclusion. Easier than 1+1.
Wizardo 34
Seems like he was trying to act like a big boy in front of his friends, tell his mother and then see what happens, prick.
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Comments (140)
jewboss 7
ugh. he's a ****. divorce his ass asap.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Sounds like he is trying to garner some interest for a little threesome.
cocacola999 27
I'm curious - did you ask for an explanation? As to why he would, at the same time, talk offensive nonsense behind your back and lie to his friend?
circlelranch69 1
I agree with #117 he probably owes your turn since they already did the other guys wife last wek
EpicJman2828 11
Dear OP screw it! who cares? Live and let die just roll your eyes and keep your head up unless it happens again then ******* leave his shit on the street for him to come home to
ashyxlynn 3
I think since its your husband not your boyfriend, that you should just give him the benefit of the doubt.
iwadasn 33
This isn't the 1800s. Women don't have to mindlessly agree with whatever their husband says.
hooah21 11
I wish my wife would try to make me sleep in the car...you'd be getting half orgasms for weeks!
magaliwoodrock 19
I personally think you should just tell him to not talk about women like that and just let him back in the house. I mean its not a huge deal but it was disrespectful.
singer0421 32
Well what else did you hear from the conversation? I mean, if you didn't hear your name, you should've asked him about it instead of making assumptions. On the other hand, if he willingly slept in the car last night after you confronted him about it, he might just be making an excuse. He had a night to think about one.
depocadoll 15
@Boredom4sale: You're not in a relationship, are you? That's not how adults deal with things.