Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Foregone conclusion. Easier than 1+1.
Wizardo 34
Seems like he was trying to act like a big boy in front of his friends, tell his mother and then see what happens, prick.
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Comments (140)
epowell31 1
**** him
happyhead123 16
Maybe he was just really bad at math.
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
Wow... What a nasty thing to say. I would have made a spectacle out of him. I would have marched strait up to him and said "what did you just say? No, go on, repeat what you just said". You can guarantee that based on his reaction of being confronted infront of someone, he will probably stammer and try and bullshit his way out of it. Then I would have said to the friend "even though its none of your beeswax, I was a virgin on my wedding night... But now looking back on how it was, I kinda wish I wasn't". And then I would have walked off.
wawa_sxm 15
This is a mans conversation women can't understand....would a woman tell her friends "my husband was a nerd no one talk to him and i was despereate"? While all her friends bragging about their cool husbands? No she is going to say my man had so many women around him i had to fight them off and make it known that he is mine......basically he said the male version of that, no man wants to be that guy waiting for sex till marriage, your friends will make fun of you....same as if he said she was a virgin when they got married his friends will make fun of him so he presented her as a bad ass b. Its poor taste but the wife should know who she married and be happy she is not the lame one in front of friends
Sheh_fml 25
Confront him about it. Spreading lies and rumours about someone is both immature and a sign of lacking respect. Even if he in some weird way he was just trying to "impress the guys", he should grow a personality instead of using you and your reputation as currency to pay for their company.
Whydoucare24 8
Wow smh kick him is ball's and tell him it's just u and your hand tonight!!!
jennycoral 12
I'm sorry OP but I couldn't help but laugh at this one! Talk it out don't be too serious about it!!!
MrItalia 18
How's about telling him to hop on is car and sleep at he's mothers house and find yourself someone who respects you
Whydoucare24 8
You go girl!!!!
catharsis5 9
As someone who lives in the US, I don't understand what OP's husband would gain from making OP look like a ****. Is he trying to say that he's such a good man that he reformed her? Cause if I hear that from one of my guy friends my thoughts would be "Dude, you're an idiot. She's cheating on you."
Sheh_fml 25
I, being far to nosy, would love to hear what happens next...