Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML
Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Foregone conclusion. Easier than 1+1.
Wizardo 34
Seems like he was trying to act like a big boy in front of his friends, tell his mother and then see what happens, prick.
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Comments (140)
svalaedgren 18
Yes because the best way to deal with lies is with another lie... Or not.
PhDInLife 8
Your husband sounds like an insensitive tool who was trying to cover his own insecurities by saying ridiculous things. I would most definitely talk to him and expect an apology to both you and his friend...
challan 19
He was having a manly conversation about how good you were in bed. I'm sure his car is also faster. If it bothers you that much, make sure you bring up your virginal status at marriage next time he's over.
deepunder 17
Tell your husbands friend that u were harder to get than memorizing the first 100 digits of pi
BrotherPhil 35
3.141592653589794626323883437950288419716939937510.... I'm halfway there, is that good enough for 2nd base?
mandapanda394 10
@128 you got it a little wrong. 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399
QQmore_fml 18
Other orifices count too you know OP.
nanxi 30
Apparently your husband does not know how to add 1 + 1.
Chellybelly92 14
And apparently the reference went over your head.
accountnamevalid 3
That is so very disrespectful. I'm sorry that happened. If I heard my SO talking about me like that, I'd lose my temper in magnificent ways. People in other states would know about it. I hope you find a healthier way to deal with this than any advise I could offer.
Barriaultcory 16
Turn the tables on him, tell all your friends and was a dork with pocket protectors and never had a date until he met you
BjgUsername 12
Well remind him just how prude you can be
KidTajic 13
Look like someone is sleeping in the penguin house tonight.
perdix 31
That doesn't prove anything. You could be doing oral and anal and still be a virgin.
graceinsheepwear 34
Sounds like Catholic schoolgirl logic to me.
perdix 31
#45, funny you should mention that. Guess what's in the neighborhood of my favorite coffee shop? JKJKJKJKJKJK!!!!!
pnutbutternjelly 15
You are so right. one of my ex friends was a total ***** who got around alot but she acted like she was so innocent before she was technically a virgin. Not saying this is how op acted. Just saying, you can definitely still be a ho without ever having vaginal intercourse.