Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML
Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, I had the flu and couldn't go to school. My dad called in and told them that I couldn't be there because I have an itchy anus. Not only that, but my birthday's tomorrow. FML
Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML
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Top comments
Deez_Knots 10
So somebody basically poisoned you. What the **** is wrong with people.
ojosRojos 28
What kind of monster gives out laxatives on Halloween?! Sorry OP, that really sucks. Hope you got to enjoy at least some of your birthday!
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Comments (15)
Heisenberg_1025480854 5
E-cup? Pics or you are lying!
iiSabachthani 3
Wrong post there boy-o. Nice try though.
Chloe555_fml 27
Wrong one, dude.
ojosRojos 28
What kind of monster gives out laxatives on Halloween?! Sorry OP, that really sucks. Hope you got to enjoy at least some of your birthday!
biggie.dd 6
You'd be surprised. Although news reports of people handing out ecstasy are a bit exaggerated, laxative sweets are not that rare. And yes, they're assholes.
tenniemo 20
I say you deserve it for not going through your candy like a responsible person and picking out anything that could have been tampered with. Safety first! That being said, I’m sorry you’re suffering, OP. Feel better soon, and hopefully lesson learned!
RichardPencil 32
Don’t eat the chocolate cake people are offering you while giggling!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Rule of thumb, always make sure the candy is individually wrapped, and always check the wrapping for tampering.
darkenedone 27
Crappy birthday!
Deez_Knots 10
So somebody basically poisoned you. What the **** is wrong with people.
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Well, your birthday is shit.
zuckerburg 21
This is why american candy sucks, if you were in europe, you'd notice the taste difference immediately. I'm was surprised how unsweet your candy taste like when I visited.... get real candy and know the difference