Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
What kind of mom would just discover a turkey in a cage in her home and not think to ask anyone about it before slaughtering it for dinner? I don't understand
Kallian_fml 21
Redneck mom ftw.
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Comments (125)
WCARlover 35
What kind of mom would just discover a turkey in a cage in her home and not think to ask anyone about it before slaughtering it for dinner? I don't understand
Kallian_fml 21
Redneck mom ftw.
jessimica642 8
I'm impressed I don't know anyone who knows how to pluck and gut a turkey.
DerrickJames 33
You have obviously never been so hungry you could eat a... Turkey.
Neonemerld 21
31, I'm sorry, but that was just awful.
Adm_Twigs 19
Free turkey!
eredden 4
Ur hot
skittlestrailmix 14
Maybe the mom is an older women and has dementia. She might have grown up on a farm and did this all the time.
UltimateGIRness 16
7-it ain't got to be a redneck mom. Most people born and raised in the south wouldnt think about it. Turkey is food and if nobody tells me otherwise,I would cook it
MDTeddy 13
What kind of mother does that? Nobody said it was her turkey to take. If it isn't yours then don't touch it. She is dumb. You can't take back what is done. Also, I agree that it is too early for Thanksgiving unless in Canada and there shouldn't be a turkey on your plate until then.
charvisioku 22
100: Why should there not be a turkey on their plate until thanksgiving? I eat turkey all the time... albeit in the form of fillets, but still. It's not exclusively for cooking on thanksgiving. You can eat turkey whenever the hell you want.
ur2nvthis85 3
Turkey's expensive. Great family contribution? Sorry about your new pet? Idk what you want from me...
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Be thankful that she didn't serve roadkill.
nictransitglory 4
Turkey is like $.37 a pound, that is not expensive. However, this FML doesn't sound straight up hillbilly, so FYL for that. I mean who else could come home same day and find a rescued animal already prepped and cooking?!
laurenlovesjb 20
Actually, at least at this time of year, you can buy a turkey at Giant Eagle for $0.13/lb. I just got a 20lb turkey for a great price last weekend!
ur2nvthis85 3
It's more expensive where I live. And expensive for one, may not be expensive to another.
rureallyserious 2
Really we paid about $22 for about a 20lb turkey
tastico 2
I'd probably forget about it while im eating it. As long as it tastes good
Neonemerld 21
It's quite hard to just "forget about it" while you're eating something you've invested time and affection into, and it wasn't intended to be eaten.
daves90 5
Yea think about how good it tastes after all the time spend on prepping a fresh turkey
LiterOfCola 16
My friend that grew up in the Philippines actually ate his pet rabbits and said they tasted good. His parents said they were chicken, and he didn't really care.
tsent8 15
^^^ wtf?!? She boiled his bunny!
botanistjessica 24
I'm not even from an obscure country and I know people who raise meat rabbits.
WCARlover 35
Didn't realize there was a rule against having turkey at other times besides thanksgiving...
TurtleSmile 14
Can you blame her? It is near thanksgiving.
Neonemerld 21
Yes, OP can blame her. She did do it, didn't she? It doesn't really matter what time of the year it is.
laurenvec 3
Turkey's were meant to be eaten. It's the circle of life!
4everblackjack 10
Awe, poor turkey couldn't escape its death. Oh well, I guess that's the cycle of life, don't be too upset OP!
BusinessTurtle 8
Maybe it was a final destination sort of thing. It escaped dying in OP's backyard but couldn't escape OP's mom.
decidedlyvague 11
Was it delicious?
Dixbfloppin 11
Yes. >:-)
WCARlover 35
"and savor ham instead" lmao what did pigs do to you to make you dislike them more than turkeys?
Shadow_Phantom 26
What a bitch... FYL.
User57777 13
What a bitch for cooking a meal? Please explain yourself.
pu13 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Good for her. There is a special hell for turkeys, they are stupid and violent and make terrible pets the best thing about them is their taste.
annie_nk 23
Who would have a turkey as a pet?
Neonemerld 21
Violent? I've never seen a turkey attack someone unless that someone was stupid enough to get too close.
KatjaM 15
I had a turkey as a pet and they aren't violent or stupid. He use to follow me around like a dog and no one in our family even thought about eating him.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#15- Some people like having turkeys as pets, and it's not your place to judge them for that. It's like when people say chickens are dumb, are only around to be eaten, etc. I own chickens, could never think about eating them. They each have distinctive personalities, they're quite brave and curious, and they're cute! Some people may feel that way about turkeys. Why judge turkeys so harshly? Just don't own them, if you have such a problem with them.