Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing soak in the tub with my essential oils, when my husband walked in and proceeded to take the most foul-smelling dump ever. The toilet is right next to the bathtub, so my essential oils didn’t stand a chance. Besides that, our house has four other bathrooms. FML
Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML
Today, I was taking my shower, as usual. As I was putting soap on my behind, I heard a pop. I also felt a burning sensation near my butthole. I have a blood filled bubble in my arse, which got infiltrated with soap. I have a drums lesson in a bit. My butt is stinging. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, my parents installed an air freshener above the toilet. While I was standing to pee, it sprayed me in the face. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
You suffered burns, and you decided to finish your shift before going to the hospital? I know it might have been embarrassing to say anything, but I think your boss would have let you go get treated if you had said something.
MATTY2512 15
I assume it was a chemical burn, not temperature burn.
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Comments (16)
BurnInDemonFire 39
You suffered burns, and you decided to finish your shift before going to the hospital? I know it might have been embarrassing to say anything, but I think your boss would have let you go get treated if you had said something.
TumblrweedPasses 11
Did you try to stealthily wash the worst off with wet tissue?? Should've told your boss and gone for medical attention Or tell them later so some poor other soul doesn't feel the wrath of the minge burning oils
ojosRojos 28
That’s when you say, “I have to go, it’s an emergency.” No details necessary, but you could bring in a doctor’s note at a later time. Hope you heal quickly and properly!
chosha_fml 27
The oil in a reed diffuser isn’t hot and at that angle couldn’t possibly have reached your ******.
MATTY2512 15
I assume it was a chemical burn, not temperature burn.
seasonedtoast 19
The butt crack would have funnelled it straight into her lady parts.
chosha_fml 27
Not at that angle. Gravity doesn’t work that way.
chosha_fml 27
I was curious and checked. The only warning on reed diffusers about the oil is “do not ingest.”
BurnInDemonFire 39
Proximity does.
Squidgegg 4
I think they mean vulva then.
Charlie Given 28
Some people do heat the diffuser oil but also if there was something like peppermint oil in there that will burn intimate areas
chosha_fml 27
Maybe, yeah. Weird to heat the oil when reed diffusers are usually a good replacement when you don’t want to leave a candle unattended.
Vicky Mackaness 2
Don't think I want to know how it went into your ******.