Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
Today, I felt so affection-deprived that I gave myself pep talks in order to feel less lonely. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I dragged out a conversation with a lady who called to get me to make an appointment to give blood. FML
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
Have a conversation with them, maybe you can make a friend. Can't hurt to try
EvilTurtle 35
You've got a friend in me
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Comments (74)
drayloon 50
Have a conversation with them, maybe you can make a friend. Can't hurt to try
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Don't be silly protect your willy
LocsOn 13
awwwwwe OP I feel so bad for you! jk make an effort and talk to people if anything that would of been akward not to say anything to the person next to you
thevelociraptor 31
#58 There is this thing called social anxiety. Lots of people have it.
dacooliest 16
Exactly what I was thinking :) either you make a friend or it's super awkward but you never have to see them again! *hopefully*
beserker81 12
Op could just go on like badoo or something to meet new people in their area, it can't be that hard to make friends
EvilTurtle 35
You've got a friend in me
Shiny_nickels 14
#2 you've got a friend in me too for that here's an upvote
tony1891 22
its always good to have a evil turtle as a friend.
Xeebar 28
An evil turtle with a Hannibal Lector laugh?
drunkmunkey 24
no he laughs like the joker
LittleRed79 39
Hey, as long as he doesn't have Hannibal's appetite we're fine ;)
tony1891 22
i ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. slurps*
sdlr32787 18
should've struck up a conversation so you didn't have to pretend
sayyestothedress 24
Maybe you don't have friends now but if you socialize, it will happen sooner or later
skychu 18
Thumbed up #3's comment because he used "-'ve" correctly... Why are there so many "should of"/"would of"'s in comments?
llamarrama01 21
I'lol be your friend
llamarrama01 21
I'll
orbit 22
No I think you are onto something with l'lol. Someone call websters.
guinea_pigs 9
Hey, OP, it's hard making friends. But you'll never have any unless you put yourself out there. Go get'em, tiger!
imessedupagain 9
This post made me cry :(
cinskeep43 15
this post let me know I wasn't the only one with that problem
Ichiya 29
People aren't worth my time is my excuse.
Sniperlogics 6
Yeah same, I'm shy first meeting people so i understand, a little.
devildog562 33
You notice how kids just I over and make friends so easily when they're young? It's hard once you get older to make and meet good friends . Good luck op .
englacobain 14
maybe because you just need someone to play with as a child.
Sakuraashita 15
I'm really sorry, OP. Being lonely is the worst, you should join some clubs and groups that do things you like to do! Get out there and make some friends! :). In the meantime you've got the FML community as friends, so don't get discouraged, OP! The best is yet to come, and the good thing about friends is that if you have none yet, you can't lose any you can only make more!
MrSassypants 34
Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's a friend? I've only heard of that term in folklore and legends, but is that a real thing? Can I have one?
kinky44 28
No, no you may not.
MrSassypants 34
Oh well. I tried.
Ichiya 29
Here have a peanut.
MrSassypants 34
Thanks. I shall cherish and love this peanut forever! *munch*
Chente_313 15
I'm guessing you graduated high school already?