Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
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Top comments
Killz268 18
she's had a little too much of mommy juice lol
Cads1 24
She was drunk, stop being so insecure and give her a break.
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Comments (61)
Skinyrd 17
Mommy got ****** up!!!!!!
_parth 20
What a waste of first comment.
LeavenSilva 27
She must've been really drunk to not recognize her own daughter, that must've been really hard for you, OP. I hope that she just meant it in a drunk way, and that she doesn't have other secret children that she's been hiding from you
Morning_fml 22
LOL yeah I highly doubt that. People say & do all kinds of weird things when they're drunk, don't worry.
Duladian 19
There might be a chance that she lost a child before you, or she's just so drunk she doesn't even know who you are. In either case she's to drunk for her own good.
MrConcise 35
Maybe she meant metaphorically. Or maybe she has that disorder that makes her have trouble recognizing faces. That's a stretch, she's probably just a drunk moron.
cailey1234567890 24
Did you watch rizzoli and iles? :P
MrConcise 35
Nope, I'm assuming they did a segment on it about the facial recognition disorder? My friend's dad actually has it. My friend and I look so alike that sometimes he confuses us.
cailey1234567890 24
This one time my mum was drunk and while I was taking her home she was HYSTERICALLY laughing that the car was "smiling at her" because someone has used a window marker and drawn a smiley face on it.
Killz268 18
she's had a little too much of mommy juice lol
Miss_Whipped 43
One time my mom was drinking when she took her sleeping pills, resulting in her sleepwalking into my room naked a little while later, demanding to use the bathroom. 'Mom, this isn't the bathroom.'
Skinyrd 17
So she's bottle fed, ah?
heyitslogan 16
I'm sorry, that must have hurt holy shit
beararm 11
Mayb she was getting deep. she might have been asking where the daughter she knows is if she feels like ur growing up fast on her.
MrThump 16
Nothing worse than a drunk parent, well maybe a drunk crying one. Bummer OP.
vampivy23 16
Really? There's NOTHING worse??
killerdime 15
You could always have a loved one's head cut off... That would be worse
Rababco 29
What about a parent with Alzheimer's Disease? I'd say that's worse. Being drunk is only temporary but Alzheimer's is permanent.