Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
joee182 3
Forever AloneD': lmao
xxmarissaaaxx 9
How could anyone eat that much candy??
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Comments (213)
momo1972 3
Only fatter
J3R3MYY 14
$50 dollars worth O_o damn OP, I can barely eat a tenth of that.
FarSide 23
Depends on if it was Godiva Raspberry Truffles, or Brach's Candy Corn...
rawrkittyrawr 6
I dislike candy corn
drawmesunshine 17
I like candy corn.
LucianDeSouza 4
Don't blame yourself . No one can resist the candies !
Ecklcakes 15
But that much and most people would feel shit very early on...
Corygerm 9
That's a lot of candy considering out can buy a huge ass bag for 2.99$
teresa96706 29
Actually that depends where you live. Where I live everything in general is pretty expensive compared to the mainland. So a big bag of candy is worth $5- $15 depending what stores you go to and what type of candy you buy (generic or name-brand)
marpay 11
Where I live it would get you about 500 pieces of candy. The giant bags of candy (name brand) here are $20 a piece + tax.
evilplatypus 39
I live in a fairly populous area, near some of the larger candy distributers and a five pound bag of candy will usually run you about 12 bucks.
ArcadePie 10
In ireland you can buy a shit load of sweets for barely any money
crazychick1269 7
105 yea and in america to
VeganVampyre 27
Where I live you get a box of 50-60 mini candy bars for about 12$ or 100-125 for about 18$, depending on what type it is and what the date is.
Insane_Tea 15
OP: "Sorry kids, i'm all outta candy!" *Attempts to wipe away chocolate moustache* Kids: "Fat ass."
apology89 2
Damn you have got to be the biggest jerk I know
AmethystRain 20
Next year, get out of the house and go somewhere. Or else buy your candy at the last minute so there's no time to snack on it.
HannahJoButtons 2
Or just don't buy candy...I mean...you wont have any to give the kids either way...
DocBastard 40
You ate $50 worth of candy? Are you insane? Do you know how many tacos you could have bought for $50??
margie2194 12
Yay for tacos!!
belkinbra 12
I love you.……… so much. Marry me?
drawmesunshine 17
I'm guessing about 50 tacos. Or 100 of Crack in the Box's nasty-ass, pisspoor, meat-sludge-deep-fried-in-a-corn-tortilla, pathetic excuses for tacos. I prefer quality over quantity, and I'd at the very least reach for some Taco Bell. At least they've settled on imitating one culture, rather than twenty.
shorty_gurlie 8
Best. Reply. Ever.
j_cat187 20
I'd trick or treat if they handed out crisp tacos
leogirl95 12
Just turn your porch light off and keep all of it for yourself. :D
teresa96706 29
Porch light for an apartment? How strange..
marpay 11
Mine has one. I would have to unscrew it if I wanted to turn it off but still, it's there right in front of my door.
crackz12 10
OP already ate it. Nothing more to keep.
My_Nightmare 19
My current and former apartment both have porch lights. Why is that strange to you?
lionlvr 9
Awwww..