Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
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Comments (301)
SamInThe407 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
tell your roomate to buy you a new one. or grow a pair and drink it.
davizv 0
agreed
ImNotAHomosexual 3
Smack the bitch first. Then COMMAND her to buy a 5 juice containers a new car a plane and a laser gun. Finally, 1000 metric tons of cocaine.
fmlpro0987 0
no don't day that yo somone who's a germaphobe. I am Aldo a germaphobe and will not drink or eat after anyone even my own daughter.
zbajis 7
I pray your daughters grow up with good spelling. either that or auto correct effed you up bad.
DDamian 0
You only had enough money to buy juice?
Merylwen 24
I can't understand people like that. Does it mean he'll never kiss anybody in his life ?
Kennzz 0
I have to say.. this is the first "first comment" that is not pointleess that I've ever seen. a
Temi25 6
I wouldn't drink it either throw it away and yell at your friend
shinynickel7XXX 0
this is the worst fml ever
CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN 4
36 could you say that again. in english this time.
partyfool2011 4
well hello Aldo A. Germaphobe
cleolappost 0
it can. it's a difficult life.
igotfirst 0
stupid nigga
Jazze_fml 10
@ 51 well i can't understand people want to have sex. doesn't mean it doesn't make sense at all. further more being germaphobic to that degree is surely an irational fear. seriously at that point there's nothing to understand it's simply how things are. you need to accept that some people have completly irrational fears just like the people with these fears need to understand that people without these fears are not going to be able to understand the fear. it can obviously be dealt with and if it becomes a problem then they should seek help yes. but it's not like they made a choice. it's fear pure and simple.
anorexicbarbie 8
Don't worry OP, I'm the exact same way. if my mom takes a drink of my soda or something, I ask her to keep the rest.
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
Make her or your roommate pay for it. It's just plain rude to drink straight the container when it's not yours.
iEatGuppies 0
oh no! NOT THE JUICE.
tynickd 0
people need to ask first.. geez
joeblownc 0
well I didn't understand that all
yuvaluv 0
so you're friend took a sip of your juice. what's the big deal?
juicedboi 7
Man up. If you would make out with a girl, you shouldn't have a problem. This is no different.
supernerd352 7
27 you win.
PandaPi 0
unless the girlfriend just finished giving a *******
Killpill 1
No, he'll probably kiss and drink/eat after someone he loves. I'm the same as him. After a while with someone it isn't as bad unless you think about all the people she's been drinking/eating after.
Atmaster 3
wtf. I stopped reading this after 3 sentences because you obviously don't read what you write.
nativepimp 1
your "comfort food" is juice?
subiedude08 17
Was that english
jasminea 0
use a cleenex
Haterman123 0
use a straw
ScaughtieHolden 11
backwash
Alyssa20 5
Kleenex.
ericwashere 0
burn it!!!!
flockz 20
**** it. wait what are we talking about again?
SwaggerMelon 6
C-C-C-c-c-combooooo breaker.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
thehoneybadger 10
Speaking as someone who is a tad germophobic.
xBangOut 4
"..infected area". Haha^.^
kaykay20 0
It's a good idea besides who knows what his girlfriend may have. Could be a STD and many things are contagious so it's understandable that op is this way.
redbluegreen 41
I'd be more concerned with backwash than the bottle opening.
iluvboobies 9
Her germs from saliva (yes, some of it ends up in the bottle even if you're careful) and skin contact is already in the juice. To OP, boil the juice, then cool it down with ice cubes. It will kill the vitamins but you're in it for a comfort food, not the vitamins, aren't you?
bellakaykid 6
There's such a thing called backwashing.
Cynical_in_SK 6
Uhm...can we say backwash? lol
pinklover24 13
Haha that's a good idea!
PRiMARELYiNSANE 0
uhmm... you cant get an std through saliva.
PRiMARELYiNSANE 0
(talking to 16)
iilovecokee 6
What about back wash? Germs aren't even the part that gets to me when it comes to sharing drinks. It's the possibility of someone's food particles that have been marinating in saliva going down my throat. Ew.
cmyk 19
#152 you can get herpes through saliva. or mono, some sort of viruses and bacterias also travel that way.
WOGBRO 6
It is good being aware of germs but there is no use in being germaphobic. Actually germs can help strengthen your immune system.
aramross91 7
obviously coming from experience.
MeRcixXxTRiPp 0
yeah you can. it's called mono
MeRcixXxTRiPp 0
(talking to 152)
Platypus333 3
but they said HIV so he/she was correct in correcting them
ArielTheMermaid 17
256 mono isn't an STD lol
lindseyluvszac 4
I kinda want to tell you to get over your fear, but after watching this show Obsessed, I understand that you can't just get over your fear of germs on command. FYL if this is a true phobia.
iluvboobies 9
Fear of germs is not just a phobia, it's an evolutionary leap. :) Yours truly, Germophobe
a_nutritionist 10
honestly, id be pissed too. i know where that mouth has been, and if shes not exactly the cleanest person in the world, then thatd be a double hit to me. aside from that, its ******* rude to just drink other peoples stuff like that.
turkishjew 0
I think we can all learn from shows that capitalize on people's fears
kaliR 2
number four you look like octomom
quesidias 0
whatta bitch! D:
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
rattusrattus 19
I do drink from the container, but OTOH, my containers are MINE and MINE ALONE. I don't get many visitors and no-one else uses them. If anyone else wants a drink, I buy a small, separate container. I wouldn't go into someone else's house and drink their juice from the container.
geeksaresexy 18
Yes! I only drink from the bottle if it's mine and no one else will be drinking it! I would go ballistic if someone helped themselves to my stuff, it's basically stealing! Never mind it being straight from the bottle, she stole his juice..
beeship321 5
I absolutely hate that too! it really makes me angry when my brother does it with the milk container when it's still half full so he claims the continer for a couple hours while he drinks it.
Mirorbo 27
Disgusting and inconsiderate!! You don't put your lips to a juice/milk/soda container if it's not yours!! AUGH! This one hits too close to home for me! Any time I buy a bottle of soda intended only for myself, someone opens it, drinks straight from it, then puts it back!! DISGUSTING!
thehoneybadger 10
Even worse if you know you don't always catch them doing it and can never fully trust an opened bottle left alone in your fridge D:
IIIiIII16 0
should've put a condom on it and poked a whole at the tip.
Mirorbo 27
*hole
IIIiIII16 0
hole*
rattusrattus 19
*Cling flim, because I don't want spermicidal lube with my juice.
whatever222 3
lol! that's so funny
youliketacos 0
What a mooooocher.
stefluvsyou 4
hey at least she wasn kissing ur gf :P
Iwashere12345 0
that was..... pretty random
whippymcdumb4zs 0
he probably wouldn't have cared if that had been the case.