Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, my sister outed me to my very conservative parents as retaliation for not taking her to get McDonald’s at 2 a.m. last night. My mom gave me an ultimatum, either "stop the lesbian shit" or get the fuck out of her house. My sister smirked through the whole thing. FML
Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I caught my half-sister stealing money from her mother's purse. Rather than risk getting in trouble, she told her uber-conservative mother that I've been seeing a girl. So now, I'm grounded for being gay, and she gets off the hook for stealing because she outed me. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
And you came here, where there are human beings who post, for sympathy? That’s a bold strategy, Cotton.
duchessdoughnut 2
You’re a complete arsehole. Ugliness on the outside is irrelevant compared to ugliness on the inside.
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Comments (9)
duchessdoughnut 2
You’re a complete arsehole. Ugliness on the outside is irrelevant compared to ugliness on the inside.
JasonThorn 23
Yeah. Beauty may only be skin deep, but that kind of ugliness goes down to the BONE. OP, someone needs to knock the Stupid out of you, but I worry that there won't be anything LEFT after they're done!
poopface82 25
And you came here, where there are human beings who post, for sympathy? That’s a bold strategy, Cotton.
d j mom 9
wow that is some cold evil stuff. You need to tell your mom the truth, then how about you work on yourself. Get a makeover or something. Maybe it'll improve your inside too. But just remember Karma is a real bitch!
juggalo2 22
Wow. Being envious of your sister's genes is a whole new level of denial. Do you hear yourself?
DLBL 23
FYL for pulling this horrible stunt. Shame.
angus 17
You don’t deserve forgiveness. I hope she gets her revenge, you deserve it!
UnbrokenRose 13
People like you really *will* do anything except go to therapy, huh?
JuneBleeds4 20
Wow, what an absolutely horrible human being you are. May you never know the joy of the cool side of the pillow ever again.
Rake 18
GET HELP! Like seriously, GET HELP! You really need it.