Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
joee182 3
Forever AloneD': lmao
xxmarissaaaxx 9
How could anyone eat that much candy??
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Comments (213)
Real_Talk21 1
thats your fault fat ass
miZscrZee 0
FATASS MUCH?
KaskStunter 4
Don't worry. By next year you will be so fat you won't be able to pass through the door to go and buy candy.
JennyLeigh 4
I have one word for you: Diabeetus.
AliCat18 12
wow you need to get some friends and get out and have fun! If you don't you will prob end up killing yourself with all the sweets. the world can be an awsome place - go explore!
MadRoo 6
It's a b*** when Halloween and PMS coincide, isn't it?
loserman67 36
Possible solutions: A: Find a roommate - stop being alone B: If you are a woman - get a vibrator - more fun, less calories C: If you are a man - get **** and jerkoff - more fun, less calories D: Buy candy at the last possible minute so you cannot eat it all E: Buy healthy snacks - the kids will hate you, but if you do eat it all you won't kill yourself F: Don't answer the ******* door - pretty obvious if you ask me Sorry you're all alone - you really need to do something about that or your best friend will become the Liberty Medical Supply delivery man and your T.V. crush will be Wilfred Brimley
patrick154 0
Fatass
Daederoth 10
Thank you for your honesty.
youtubetre_fml 14
Be careful , you'll become fat and an Halloween hater ...
almedalove 0
I think this person is already fat .. Just saying
youtubetre_fml 14
Maybe you're right but we can't know ...