Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
joee182 3
Forever AloneD': lmao
xxmarissaaaxx 9
How could anyone eat that much candy??
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Comments (213)
dantheman1988 0
Find some friends who wont let you eat all the candy...
chels1994 11
You have no self control, and those poor kids have no candy. Oh, and you're out $50 that was to be used to celebrate the holiday. You caused one seriously shitty situation.
lolmigosh 15
Haha fatass.
skyeyez9 25
Dont buy it until the day of halloween next time!
perdix 31
You need to get that fat ass of yours down to Coney Island to keep the Hot Dog Eating crown in America, preventing the mighty Kobayashi from taking it back to Japan again. We've transformed Gluttony from a Deadly Sin to a competitive sport/lucrative entertainment. The end must be near.
perdix 31
Let's hope it was Band Candy or Airplane Candy or Mini-Bar Candy. In any of those cases, you didn't eat very much.
KiddNYC1O 22
What a disgrace. Just pretend you're not home and save yourself and the kids the embarrassment...
sweetness4406 0
they prob knew your fat ass ate it
jovnixD 6
wow wonder how much weight you wouldve gotten xD lmao
p71interceptor 6
just don't answer the door that's what i did.