Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
joee182 3
Forever AloneD': lmao
xxmarissaaaxx 9
How could anyone eat that much candy??
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Comments (213)
kennyrock86 0
poor man.... share it with you....
lifelessons22222 0
What is wrong with you...
Teehee2 0
my sources tell me he's a fat ass sir.
marpay 11
She was lonely and depressed. I'm guessing you've never had a bad day and eaten more than you planned. Although I've got to say I've never been so depressed that I've eaten $50 of candy.
Jimboom 12
What did you go dressed up as this year? The cookie monster? But seriously, wow. You must have smoked at least $50 worth of weed just to be able to eat that much candy!!
Suks2beeme 7
No joke!!
The_creator_fml 2
Maybe it was 5 $10 candy bars? Or 10 $5 candy bars?
Savra_fml 17
So OP would expect only 5 to 10 kids to knock on their door?
teresa96706 29
Or 50 $1.00 candy bars.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Walk to the door eating candy out of the bowl and then say you don't have any.
GraceKathryn97 0
Awe I'm sorry that's really gotta be a bummer! You'll find someone one day who you will share your candy with forever!:)
evilplatypus 39
Somehow I don't think they WANT to share
GraceKathryn97 0
Well if she's all alone she might...I mean at least ONE piece! Lol
EODTEC 5
You pooped in the refrigerator? AND you ate all of the Halloween candy??? I'm not even mad... That's amazing.
marpay 11
Anchorman reference ftw.
token_blackguy 18
You silly fat bastard......
floatguy 2
Wholly crap!! That's a lot candy... Can u say diabetes!!!!!
here4theparty 4
Im calling bs unless you only buy some ghirardelli chocolate for the kids..