Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
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Top comments
joee182 3
Forever AloneD': lmao
xxmarissaaaxx 9
How could anyone eat that much candy??
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Comments (213)
DrOfTheInternet 6
Next year your costume can be a diabetic
lovepotion75 4
Gah.. Not as bad as getting pelted with eggs Because you had none left.
purehatred89 5
You could just not answer the door...
awkwardaredevil 5
I wish I had $50 to blow on candy.....
CraigWilson 9
Me too!! At my house we barely scraped together $4 to buy candy at the dollar store. We felt bad when we had to turn kids away after only 10 minutes.
lucyinthesky420 10
That is very unhealthy... Cavities here you come!
supatroopa909 0
you fat azz! diet now before you die!
Okayitwasme 0
I also had to put a sign up! Get home from work, see the kids coming. Go to the candy stash......my teenage twins ate almost all of it! First group that came I didn't have enough to give out! My sign said,' SORRY NO CANDY', (my kids ate it all) =(. I give out the big bars!!!!! Mental note don't buy candy early!
whiterabbit420 4
I bought about $50 worth of candy... For the 200+ kids we get at our door. I had so much left that I told the kids who came after 7 to take the biggest handfuls they could. Still have well over 2 lbs left. If you had half the candy I did that would still be horribly disgusting.
Carrotkidd15 5
Now just play black ops all night and you are living my life!
bullkaka4 1
fat ass