Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jasim 17
That's one hell of a bargain.
gerardwhy 21
But did he bring the toilet paper?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
ienjoywomen 1
perfect
lulinator 40
That's hilarious. Sounds like something my man would say. He gets a minimum of three a week though, so he'd likely ask for something more than just a bj.
BlondePsycho 43
What comes next anal or a 3 some with your friends?
horneyhic 15
See now your cool why not use sex as currency like that. **** I mean you could play poker with you SO and only use things like that it would be really fun
sam882 28
Next thing you know he is going to start taking and hiding the toilet paper. But all joking aside, I don't understand why this is an FML. That's something that both you should be able to find fun doing.
jsp16 24
Reason why I hate my name first name "John" :(
ChristinePi 36
Did he make you give him the ******* on the toilet?
TomeDr 25
Personally, I'd be plotting my revenge for the next time he's in a tight spot and needs YOUR help.
LostInTheZone11 29
Sugar Free candy, will make an instant role reversal on him.
Tannasgh 22
Showering off is cleaner and faster...
patz2fly 0
Sweet deal
EvilVein 15
Why not?
cheesyfeet2001 31
So, did you get the toilet paper?