Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
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Top comments
Jasim 17
That's one hell of a bargain.
gerardwhy 21
But did he bring the toilet paper?
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Comments (169)
gerardwhy 21
But did he bring the toilet paper?
howard007 18
He sounds like h would be a great lawyer
gerrags 16
Sucked to be you!
nietzche 8
Better call Saul !
Regimental_Phan 18
your deal to get something to wipe your ass really sucked.
feelingold 18
How is it a FYL to promise your husband a ********? Do you hate giving BJs that much?? If so, F your husband's life...
Jasim 17
That's one hell of a bargain.
Patriots21 14
He didn't blow his opportunity to suck his wife into a sweet, sweet deal.
kpohil 13
17 thats a win
spoo 24
And many guys are taking notes....
Garrett2818 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Give him one but don't let him finish. Just kidding that's to ****** up.
dragonkisses28 25
He didn't specify how long it had to be.
johnthejolly 10
Savage!
ALegitOreo 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Seems like a fair trade
Migole 36
If you're uncomfortable, you should have a talk with him how it makes you feel. If this is normal behaviour between you two and you have no problem with it you shouldn't say FML. Just my two cents
alindori 2
Maybe you should stop reading so deep into things
lj19717 19
Why is this thumbed down? Do you people think it's bad to talk to your loved ones about this stuff?
lndala 15
It's thumbed down because the FML is funny until someone decides to put their two cents in and read way too much into it. Just have a laugh and be done with it.
Rawrshi 25
#43: The FML community in general seems terrified of communication with their partners. It's always insult them, withhold sex as a punishment, and/or break up if they make a mistake. Any attempt to point out communication as being necessary or those methods as petty and immature is met with mocking, thumbs down, or "stop taking it so seriously!" I don't get it either, honestly, but that's how it goes.
Llama_Face89 34
51- it's all in a diabolical attempt to cause more funny FML posts.
feelingold 18
Because it's BORING. We come here for entertainment, not dull agony aunt advice.
ChopSuey444 20
It was never specified as to whether or not OP disapproves of ********. Its probably more of the fact that it's an unfair trade.
domobot3000 5
But did he get it!? A deals a deal!
emmatheamazingx 17
That sucks (no pun intended)
ricardof 19
good one xD
mrjack41 10
You lie bitch pun was definitely intended
Jdlove2 20
Worth it, toilet paper is saving grace.
vrax 14
When looks like your shitty situation sucked! Sorry op!