Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML
Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
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Top comments
OkapiParade 15
That sounds fapulous
fallencastiel 22
I don't want to know how hard you were masturbating for your hand to chip your tooth
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Comments (146)
OkapiParade 15
That sounds fapulous
xChaos 29
Sounded like a hard job for the dentist.
devildog562 33
Dentist is probably stiff after that job.
PennyLane27 32
Sounds a bit hairy to me
sayyestothedress 24
#22 you ruined it!
ZacPalmer 12
I agree. Either a weak tooth or really forceful masturbation.
ChristianH39 30
Guys these puns are getting out of hand
theRonin 18
Just gotta grip the glory of the comments
brivielle 15
Lesson 1 OP. Be careful with slippery things. You could have given yourself a concussion. FYL :(
MortenM 17
It's a nice bonus though with unexpected oral 'sex' It's like ordering drinks and be surprised by happy hour
Goblin182 27
Well, there goes my theory that the head of the dick is to keep your hand for slipping off.
Standupmast3r 18
These puns are hard to beat. ;)
Indiantrolledd 16
I see what you did there ?
Regimental_Phan 18
dang it guys! you all beat me to these puns!
CurvyisCool 22
Did you get a lollipop?
fallencastiel 22
I don't want to know how hard you were masturbating for your hand to chip your tooth
slick5880 22
The machanics behind that maneuver are mind-boggling.
sweetbliss3 37
sounds very impressive. ha. good luck with the tooth.
yuzuhere 21
His hand just wanted give him a good ol' beating back; it's only returning the favour!
junkman6 22
I'm half wondering if a fleshlight was involved....
sig4life 18
Maybe a little bit less lube next time
gatorclay97 28
His dick must be huge...
brandoneyez1 25
Or why is face was in any position to get hit by his flying fist. Lol
Michiganfan4164 7
Maybe you were using to much lotion...
JKPwnage 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
too*
Eliseopwns 22
Perhaps it'd be best if you use a bit less "elbow grease" next time, bro.
devildog562 33
****** your face!
onlychildFTW 34
More like ****** up his face. Haha.
Nicholas12 15
God's watching you, the pervy git, lol
Nina825 21
So? It ain't wrong ..
headofmedusa 15
I guess you can say OP was....shit I'm not good at this.
squidward_fail 5
howd u explain that to ur dentist?
ukdentistfml 16
I'm a dentist, I have no idea how I'd react to something like that!
onlychildFTW 34
What's a dentist? A Dr. that failed medical school! Haha!!!
Journiexo 18
Actually, dentist are one of the most paid careers. They are two completly different jobs.
_Schnitzel_ 4
"So yea, after I took a break from my morning popcorn feasting session, I started masterbating furiously and my hand slipped off my willi gag and popped me right in my nipkissa."
jrod9327 17
Too hard. Way too hard