Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, I moved into my brand new apartment, only to discover that there is an annoying, constant hum coming from the ceiling above my bed. FML
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four-month-old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML
Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding coming from upstairs. FML
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Top comments
killuhand 12
give them a mouth gag from the sex shop that'll fix one of your problems
Vitally 6
Maybe a mouth gag would be a little too strange, I'm sure a bottle or something would quiet the baby instead.
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Comments (73)
killuhand 12
give them a mouth gag from the sex shop that'll fix one of your problems
tony1891 22
thats actually a quite disturbing thing to give anyone.
killuhand 12
i think itd get the point across
Hiktmae 20
What about ear plugs? They aren't comfortable but if OP is sensitive to noise then they definitely should help
garrett_8614 14
Or OP should just get a very loud significant other ;) Or have a kid. Whichever works for her.
drunkmunkey 24
no he should record them and play it back full volume
Vitally 6
Maybe a mouth gag would be a little too strange, I'm sure a bottle or something would quiet the baby instead.
garrett_8614 14
Pretty sure the parents already have a bottle for the baby. It is their kid after all.
cinskeep43 15
.
VeganDarkLight 31
When I first read the bottle part I thought you wantet them to drug the baby with alcohol... I need some sleep. Even though it might actually work^^
devildog562 33
30 don't have kids for a while please ....
adkim78 17
the gag solves one of the problems, but what about dealing with the frisky couple?
HairIsEverything 15
#43 haha. I guess there's only a few who understood #25's joke
incoherentrmblr 22
Just get a stereo system, crank it up, and play the Trololo song on repeat, and leave for the night. Or, you could just get some ear plugs...
kumarina 35
Get a man tp write a paper saying that if they could please be louder, is hard for you to ********** to the their sex because you can't hear them well
nakros 17
Or both
am_bugg 20
Is there not someone you could talk to about switching to another available apartment?
sayyestothedress 24
What if OP house is really nice and he feels very comfortable in there (well before this happened) or maybe there's a history in that house and OP refuses to leave? Huh? Well anyways, noise cancelling headphones will do!
more4me 27
Well , sometimes moving solves the problem .... when all else fails. I should know. I ended up moving to a smaller unit to get away from the middle of the night grunt noises from my gay neighbors.
sweetbliss3 37
47- what is really necessary to say "gay neighbors?" did "neighbors" on its own not suffice? and OP shouldn't have to move. they could simply have a chat with them to solve the problem or try some music or something. you only move when there's no more options left.
Khaleesi_26 30
File noise complaints about the couple. The baby you can't really do anything about. Or just move out? If thats possible.
VeganDarkLight 31
Maybe they could have a talk with them first instead? Yeah sure, it might be awkward, but filing a complaint for that is pretty harsh and absolutely exaggerated...
ostfaiz 18
Shift your bed there
CatcherQueen 15
Invest in some ear plugs or sound proof walls. Whichever you prefer.
Draugen 16
Not sure how much soundproof walls would help if the sound is coming through the ceiling.
devildog562 33
Best thing to do with the frisky people is to start clamping and wooting for the big finish. For the baby ,tell them to shut their spawn of satan up.- anyone ? Maybe make a complaint to landlord / property manager if there is one ?
UnidentifiedFun 37
I'm sure they would stop if they knew that they were being heard. Or, just ask if you or they could be moved to another apartment..
kurodansei 16
I had a housemate who had the loudest sex with his girlfriend. They did not care if they were heard, at any particular time of day or night.
UnidentifiedFun 37
To each their own, I guess ^
nataliewby 25
Why not just go up and knock on their door and tell them your complaints? If they're reasonable people they'll most likely understand.
iAmPaul 49
Plot twist: There's a guy who listens to loud music almost 24/7 who lives above your bathroom. Seriously though, I think you should talk to them to see if any kind of compromise can be reached.
sarah5745 41
Why should op move? That may be too much trouble for op. Instead of that, op could just tell them her complaints, and hopefully, they'll understand and do something about it.