Today, I took a nap. My boyfriend took this opportunity to go over to his "beautiful" and "amazing" ex-girlfriend's house to help her clean out her pool. I told him I didn't think that was appropriate. He told me I don't value relationships and didn't come home tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML
Today, I went to spend some time with my family. Unbeknownst to me, while I was having quality time with my family, my boyfriend of a year and a half was packing up his belongings and going back to his estranged wife. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my boyfriend begged me to spend an extra night at his house. I agreed, cancelled my Uber, and arranged for my pets to be cared for, since I wasn't coming home. Five minutes later, he decided that he had to work tonight instead. Then he got angry at me for leaving. FML
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Top comments
FunnnyGirrl 19
You should reevaluate your relationship with him, OP. He sounds like he is still into his ex, calling her 'amazing & beautiful'. You should be with a guy who only refers to you in that way, not his ex!
Charles900 16
Actually, it sounds more like he doesn't value relationships, especially if he's describing his ex in those terms.
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Comments (79)
StargazeKitsune 18
I'm assuming the quotations are his words? What an ass...been there, OP. I'm sorry :(
ashley832 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
by "cleaning out her pool" did you mean sex
missa1996 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If they meant sex, I'm sure they would've just said he was ******* her...
MrConcise 35
No, he was literally cleaning her pool. That's how you score bitches.
xJigglyPuffx 5
#14 No they wouldn't. Some people get kicks out of sneaking around. God knows why. People need to learn to leave & not cheat.
Charles900 16
Actually, it sounds more like he doesn't value relationships, especially if he's describing his ex in those terms.
boating_guy 33
When I read it, I originally thought he was describing the house because of the way the FML is written lol
Cads1 24
Ha, just like in the "movies". I have come to clean the pool!
lexos 16
Did you dump him?
owlishes 24
It sounds like they live together.
meliodafool_ 15
He's the one who's not valuing his relationship with you.
FunnnyGirrl 19
You should reevaluate your relationship with him, OP. He sounds like he is still into his ex, calling her 'amazing & beautiful'. You should be with a guy who only refers to you in that way, not his ex!
Jefffz 13
If **** has taught me anything, it is that pool cleaners can't be trusted
Thors_Hammer9999 17
I hope to the stars and back that you mean ex-boyfriend
pandalover69 26
Maybe you should tell him not to bother coming home at all, it sounds like he doesn't even respect you, he's the one who obviously doesn't value relationships. Someone who refers to his ex as "beautiful and amazing" to his current girlfriend isn't worth your time.
mattfire14 12
What if he owns the house?
Dougie_Bee 21
#17 What does the house have to do with anything?
jackipdoc 31
I agree. Talking about her like that is bad enough but what he did would be like the straw that broke the camels back to me and I wouldn't put up with it!