Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML
Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
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Top comments
OkapiParade 15
That sounds fapulous
fallencastiel 22
I don't want to know how hard you were masturbating for your hand to chip your tooth
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Comments (146)
ldkindasucks 6
"I was giving someone a real beating, then he got a lucky shot"
giantsfan2010 23
Wait, you masturbated so hard you punched yourself in the mouth and chipped a tooth?? That's quite an accomplishment.
captainsmegma 12
After reading this I masturbated to see the physical mechanics of how this could happen. You (a) must sit and stare at your dick while wanking, or (b) have a nasty curve in your ****
KittyyCattyy 9
You're pretty dedicated.
captainsmegma 12
Someone had to take one for the team!
Acid1260 21
Probably the funniest comment I've read haha
RedPillSucks 33
Thank you. I was wondering why the hell he was masturbating towards his face. Did he want to give himself a pearl necklace?
garrett_8614 14
Guess it depends on the position they're in.
megadki14 6
he could have just been sliding up too fast and hit his lower jaw with his fist
aliciavanham 13
Is that even possible?
itsxok 5
I'm never arm wrestling you with my right arm
annie917 15
How do you know he didn't use his left arm?
MortenM 17
#42 you just don't use your left hand. It's the only rule
Goblin182 27
#82, if left hand is bi-sexual its not cheating.
Hime9908 22
I use my left hand
Ghost308 11
That's actually quite an amazing accomplishment bro. You took "beating your dick like it owes you money" to the next level
Arthurie 30
"Beating your dick like it owes you money." I have never seen someone use that phrase before, but let me tell you it might just be one of the best things I've ever heard.
renrioku 15
The comments here a are funnier than the FML.
sylverdrag_fml 9
And the FML was hard to beat
MOOSE786 8
You need more calcium
PennyLane27 32
Protip: hookers are cheaper than dental bills.
anabanana6994 4
Omg one hitter quiter lmao
typical_girl_ 19
At least you but your heart and soul into it