Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I got grounded because I didn't send my aunt a Mother's Day present. Not only is she not married she doesn't have kids. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
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Top comments
Skiddywompus 0
OP is definetly an amatuer at party throwing.
enonymous 9
Just tell her it was going to be classy with some wine, cheese and Oprah's book of the month.
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Comments (198)
Skiddywompus 0
OP is definetly an amatuer at party throwing.
vergaso 0
Did you Open the door Get on the floor Then proceed to do the dinosaur?? Was your mom covered in spaghetti when she got home???
metallicatime 0
7 that made no sense, and was not even remotely funny. Try again next time
vergaso 0
It made sense ************... If you're going to be on the ******* Internet do it right ******
hilary56 0
That cost you no rager and no parental trust, that's a double burn my friend
hinchkongfang 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
God, why don't people use their brains?? Honestly people, it's not that hard!! And why was your mother on your contact list anyway?? Idiot!!
bmar97 5
because, you have your moms number saved in your phone. duh.
YourEvilHero 12
hey she could have done worse and came back while the party was going on in her underwear and said "heeey everyone I'm ops mom, it's passed her bedtime but she's been a good little girl."
theduff 0
Just say it was a joke did you really think I'm that dumb?
thisisafunnyname 12
Today I left for a business trip. My son then texted me aling with a shitload of other people saying theres a party at our house. Not only did he try to have a party, he's an idiot. FML
thisisafunnyname 12
*along
sabor_ranchero 12
*daughter
GoingCommando93 14
Fail. Ydi
daysleeper666 1
The cake was a lie
Keyman1212 14
I'm guessing 'business trip' means running to the grocery store in Canada.
saranndipidy 0
who throws a party when parents go to the grocery store?
QuisMysterium 4
I was under the impression that it meant traveling for business reasons, but I'm no expert.
aligiorav 11
I was under the impression sarcasm still existed...
aligiorav 11
I was under the impression sarcasm still existed...
hinchkongfang 0
I was under the impression you didn't need to post your comment twice!!
bmar97 5
lmao
Potterhead1 3
wow 55, way to be a combo breaker
emag_eht 18
I know what you mean. Why did OP even start texting everyone if her mom is STILL around.
fylasmuchasmine 0
I'm Canadian, what is that supposed to mean? In fact, Alberta, such as this person. But, seriously?
Keyman1212 14
For all of you getting offended over the Canadian remark, when my dad went on a business trip, it would involve him flying to other parts of the country, or overseas. Not much my dad could do at an office in London when I'm in Texas.
scrapmetal58 9
I thought it was amusing.
thebadmanpuntedb 7
False. It's actually called a beer run.
daysleeper666 1
I feel like there should be a Soviet Russia joke somewhere in here..
MissMae93 23
Damn straight, 144. Or perhaps to grab some beaver tails, depending on the season. And 3 - your comment still makes zero sense to me even after your "explanation". Could OP's mom not have been driving to the airport?
cheeriously 4
Hey I live in texas!hahaha
kkandkk 0
Your smart.....so your grandparents also know about the party, how awk
ProhibitionRose 14
You're*. If you're going to sarcastically insult someone's intelligence don't sound like an idiot while doing so.
white16sox 19
What the above post said. Plus don't say awk it is idiotic.
MissMae93 23
Uhm, I donno about you but I for one don't have my grandparent's cellphone numbers stored on my cellphone. Nor do I believe my grandparents even HAVE cellphones.
SeedlessMe 13
Well I 'donno' about you either MissMae, but once you're out of the pettiness of high school, it's perfectly acceptable to have your grandparents/other family members phone numbers in your contacts. Besides, I'm older than you & my grandmother has a cell phone. She even knows how to text! Lmao--- Don't be dissin' grams!
koolkat27 13
if you're gonna say awk at least say awks.
kevin27_fml 3
She never said the party couldn't happen!
ShyAnn29 15
No, she's just grounded....
enonymous 9
Just tell her it was going to be classy with some wine, cheese and Oprah's book of the month.
lotto_boi 3
Dont forget the classical hardcore mozart music
thisisafunnyname 12
No no no, Mozart is too wild, which could promote rebellious themes. It must be more maintained and proper, like Brahms or Hayden.
alival 12
He prob wrote in the text that it was a wild party or something!!!!
PillowPetLovers 6
Lol
enonymous 9
72 **** that shit lets Bach this ************ up!
cmayo 3
Good job, dipshit. You could have said you were joking, you know.
marpay 11
Because their mom is totally going to believe them. Most mothers can tell when their child is lying to them.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Just say "haha wow I was kidding just trying to freak you out." I know I could easily make up an excuse and get out of it.
thisisafunnyname 12
"You think I'm stupid enough to mass text everyone on my contacts list including you about having a party? What kind of idiot do you think I am?...(2 seconds later)Guys party cancelled mom figured out bout it"
Freeze_fml 17
Grandma and grandpa will be happy to hear.
callmedaddy702 0
Now you can have a grounded party and only you will show up.
Cheerieful_fml 2
Surprise! Its your birthday party Mom. :)
emag_eht 18
Why would her mother believe that? She was going on a business trip. Even if it was a party for her, she'd miss it.
mickeygirl 0
Y r there negative thumbs? This guys got a point!
jalapeno64 10
Why would you have your mom on your contact list?
hilary56 0
Umm why wouldn't you?
ShyAnn29 15
I have my mom on my contact list
ProhibitionRose 14
He's young enough to still get grounded, therefore probably relies on mommy dearest for some things, so saving her phone number in his cellphone would be wise.
ashes1005 0
Ive got my parents and grand parents number n my phone n i dont rely on them for anything but who doesnt remember tgeyhave their mons number saved n their phone
ProhibitionRose 14
That's why I said probably. Most teenagers rely on their parents unless they are independent. Judging by the context, I think it's safe to say OP is under the age of 18 as I've never heard of a legal adult being grounded >.> but I could very well be wrong o.O
missmurderx 8
Do you rely on everyone's number that's in your phone? >.<