Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
Stop ruining ninja turtles for me... *plugs ears*
loserman67 36
Tell him that alligators, crocodiles are closely related to dinosaurs and birds are actually living dinosaurs and watch his head explode.
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Comments (47)
press_start_bro 21
Are you still dating him? Or does he expect you to go into your 'shell' and, "cool down" too?
wdd2 5
You're both idiots, turtles are marsupials, and fun fact, are closely related to platypi.
a_maelstrom 7
You realize you made the conscious decision to date him
gravekill3r 1
He's ur boyfriend
nottanonymous 6
Maybe you are the stupid one... Turtles are NOT reptiles.... They are amphibians
Bibliovore 26
#84, turtles are indeed reptiles. Many of them primarily live in water (as do many snakes, and other reptiles), but unlike amphibians, they cannot breathe through their skin and they have scales.
DragonLove987 14
Actually, they're e amphibians. But they're still cold blooded and thus can't regulate. their body temperature.
shlemiel 8
Turtles aren't reptiles.