Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
Stop ruining ninja turtles for me... *plugs ears*
loserman67 36
Tell him that alligators, crocodiles are closely related to dinosaurs and birds are actually living dinosaurs and watch his head explode.
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Comments (47)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I think Google could solve this type of issues very quickly...
Bibliovore 26
I take it he's never read up on how to take care of his pet? Poor turtle.
yeti37 16
And people wonder why teachers have it so tough. If YOU can't convince him, what makes you think a teacher can? He's the guy we made fun of in the teachers' lounge. Dump the idiot.
meso222 8
No, do not dump him... An empty head is easier to fill with the things you want him to know. He may never be the smartest companion but enough treats and belly rubs, you could possibly train him to do all sorts of tricks. It is not cruel if he is happy and you are happy, never pass up an opertunity.
Bibliovore 26
You... make fun of your students in the teachers' lounge? That's pretty appalling, not to mention immature.
moonfull101 13
Well we can clearly see he is obviously the bright one. I wonder what happened to his childhood...
bybib 20
Seems you're just not turtly enough for the turtle club.
ViviMage 40
Some turtles have a shred of warm bloodedness. Sea turtles have the ability to be a degree or two warmer than than the water they live in. Don't worry. Just put the boyfriend under his heat lamp for at least 6-8 hours in the morning to fire up those brain cells!
rokolodo 10
That depends, if you stay with him.
docscientist 10
Did this happen before the Internet?
Michael_92 20
Them were the dark days...
kthxbie 10
Oh so they ARE reptiles?
perdix 31
If he thought it was an amphibian, you may want to let it go and consider his other traits. But, if he thinks it's a mammal, bird, fish or any kind of invertebrate, DUMP HIM!!
Ameel_fml 19
I'm curious what type of animal he thinks a turtle is now...
Michael_92 20
A chicken...