Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
Stop ruining ninja turtles for me... *plugs ears*
loserman67 36
Tell him that alligators, crocodiles are closely related to dinosaurs and birds are actually living dinosaurs and watch his head explode.
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Comments (47)
Harle 24
People nowadays are actually pretty oblivious to their own stupidity.
individualityspi 7
Technically "reptiles" don't exist. Turtles are Testudines.
Daughterofapathy 4
Technically turtles aren't actually reptiles. In a way, birds are closer to "other" reptiles than turtles are.
fatesrival 1
Veterinarian here to clear up all the misconceptions. Reptiles do exist (as the class Reptilia) which turtles do fall into (Order Chelonii...or Testudines). We don't really like the term "cold-blooded" but instead we use the term ectotherm. This doesn't mean that they have NO control over their body temperature (behavior, metabolic rate, etc all can influence it) but their temperature does depend and vary based on the surrounding environment. Hope this helps!
kyrisonfusion 22
I also thought turtles were amphibians....am I wrong?
MyNameIsReed 4
Small little fact leatherback turtles have a very high rate of metabolism when active, that radiates heat keeping their body temperature above the temperature of the water they are in. So leatherback turtles are cold blooded, but kinda not really.
miss_sqwert 19
u r the stupid one. turtles arnt reptiles. have u never seen over the headge. there anthibians (or how ever u spell it)
jessherself13 21
Maybe you should intervene on the turtles behalf if he isn't taking care of it properly, and while you're at it give him a book about his little reptilian friend. Hopefully he isn't as dense as his turtles shell is in the long run.
ravenevercross 19
You know, I keep seeing FMLs about people having a boyfriend/girlfriend who does something like this. Frankly, I have to say, you deserve it. You all do. Next time, get a boyfriend/girlfriend with an IQ around yours or don't complain about them being or doing something dumb.
aircon 7
I feel stupid now! I believed that since I was 5!