Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that a tornado is not the same thing as a hurricane. I couldn't convince him, and he still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML
Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Top comments
mikepzz 27
Stop ruining ninja turtles for me... *plugs ears*
loserman67 36
Tell him that alligators, crocodiles are closely related to dinosaurs and birds are actually living dinosaurs and watch his head explode.
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Comments (47)
tupelo 6
Good luck convincing him!
Voij 16
I feel as though the "convincing" should go very quickly once the OP decides to just show him an entry on wikipedia.
not_a_robot 15
Well, 26, some people are just too stubborn to ever learn. Good luck teaching him OP.
asnakelovinbabe 16
The one who needs luck here is the turtle. I shudder to think of the living conditions for this poor animal if her boyfriend thought these things. There's likely zero filtration, zero opportunity for thermoregulation and basking, no UVB radiation..... Aquatic turtles are one of the most commonly available pets, yet their requirements are complex and needy. They are one of the most neglected species, right there with iguanas and hermit crabs.
PrinceDarko 13
Maybe you should rethink a long term relationship.
LebanonBaby 26
Haha agreed with #1 !!! Good luck OP !
red_headforlife 15
You can comment on comments you know. This one would fit perfectly under 1's comment.
gc327072 31
No, because it be simplified further still by just liking 1's comment.
MTrailOfLife 6
Who the **** cares?
mikepzz 27
Stop ruining ninja turtles for me... *plugs ears*
Harpy20 24
"Turtles in a half-shell!"
tygerarmy 35
Turtle power!
loserman67 36
AAAwwwww Dude, I like totally want some pizza now
lulubelles 33
I always thought it was 'heroes in a half shell'
JenkJenks 6
The Ninja Turtles can rescue citizens and fight crime every day! But, when it comes to regulating body temperature....
thejimler 9
Poo gas keeps them warm.
TheFirstSamurai 18
I always assumed the Ooze made them warm-blooded as well as human sized.
attitude_angel 15
Even if you plug your ears, you'll still be able to read it. So you accomplished...pretty much nothing :P
crudeandrudeguy 29
47- lmao @ poo gas
tygerarmy 35
#44 it is "heroes in a half shell"
noobienick 19
Don't you mean *closes eyes*?
sugarshane007 20
Oi... he certainly is a prime candidate for Darwinism to take effect.
SWC_Penguin 17
I had a friend who died from not knowing how turtles work. It was sad.
RZB 11
Don't give him the cold shoulder. I hope it wasn't in bad blood. Anyone? No? Okay...
toughchick14 15
Where exact did he go to elementary school because I am not sending my future kids there!
loserman67 36
Where "exact" did you go to elementary school, because I don't want to send my kids thre either.
loserman67 36
I know, I saw that as I posted the reply. Murphy got me right in the ass and I deserved it, every bit.
kianaaa32 17
#39 Murphy* got you too ;)
klimpomppp 9
41- as an Internet user i have to mention that he got you, in the ass, with his big, black dick, bye
swimagirl4321 15
Take him to an aquarium to talk to a Maine biologist
NoDontKillMe 19
*marine
ViviMage 40
Would a Rhode Island biologist work?
RZB 11
What about a California one?
Ghostlyness 7
A marine biologist? Heck, get him to talk to the kids there, they can probably teach him.
loserman67 36
Tell him that alligators, crocodiles are closely related to dinosaurs and birds are actually living dinosaurs and watch his head explode.
death943 10
and the closest relative to the T-Rex is the Chicken
Leasha3 14
I like chickens so much more now...
cupcakechick 17
looks like someone got hit with the stupid stick