Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
That's a funny story, actually.
MrHankie1999 0
They are confused because it didn't have a siren.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
takeitandrun 13
I'd just appreciate that you got called to bail him out with a funny story that you can share instead of something stupid or completely embarassing. Think on the bright side!
ms92497 4
Well, he sounds interesting
ScarletBloom 14
That scenario must be very horrendous and hilarious.
Guy247bp2 1
For some reason as I read this i thought of the family guy episode where peter buys a retarded horse on impulse... funny, really....
dorky_lette 5
well i now i know what im doing next weekend
himynamesholly 0
I hope I have a husband like that someday.
dashofspice 0
They were just horsing around ;)
UnknownyMous 5
He was having grown-up man time with his best bud! You can't really blame him especially because he was drunk. Which comes to another good reason why people shouldn't drink.
maddienoelle 13
Those darn drunks.
brick_man33 14
it would of been epic, if he actually stole the horse and road it down the street yelling "the British are coming, the British are coming" like a drunken Paul Revere.