Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
That's a funny story, actually.
MrHankie1999 0
They are confused because it didn't have a siren.
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Comments (187)
moop256 10
Are you from Canada?
Shelta957 13
What does that have anything to do with the situation?
moop256 10
Mounties my friend. I live in Canada however we have the RCMP now but sometimes you'll find a RCMP officer on a horse for show,which makes sense because RCMP stands for royal Canadian mounted police
Amrel 10
He thinks they tried to jack a Mounties horse
Akalia_fml 7
I've seen horses in Minnesota when I visited, and sometimes you can see an officer riding a horse here in Melbourne.
moop256 10
Extacly my English isn't the best I've only recently come to Canada
AmbrosiaWriter 17
It says on the FML that the poster is in the USA. The USA does have mounted police. I've seen them in New York City and Boston, typically they are used to patrol the large parks where cars cannot easily go, but the also patrol city streets.
KiddNYC1O 22
66- That's correct. They are seen a lot patrolling the outskirts of Central Park.
Britter903 6
It says united states dumbass
Britter903 6
Read before you make a complete idiot of yourself
jstrickland 5
Are you suggesting canadians are stupid or something?
moop256 10
?? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ????? Also 111 you seem very rude that is why I went to Canada people are a lot nicer here than the usa,my only mistake was moving to far up north should've stayed in Ottawa.
moop256 10
Then again I've never been to the USA maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge.
landry5247 0
That's ****** awesome!
nofearjenshere 12
Your husband is a G.
aantho_fml 0
What seems to be the officer, problem?
bedskiboy 4
I see what you did there.
irishsugarbaby 3
Lmfao wow
Ne_Oublie 3
Sup lady
insanelyXnikki 18
Seems as if you married a real winner....
Amrel 10
Yep hes a weiner!
Gregabob00 0
How is this not Canada
Amrel 10
Look at #12's replies it will all be explained-ish
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Because Canada isn't the only country with mounted police units? There are at least 31 other countries that have police on horses.
demonmonkey 13
69- Did you count?
Peach3 1
You know what, at least he was drunk at the time! How would you feel if your husband was completely sober and made that move?!
taradeborde87 3
If he was sober he probably wouldn't have gotten himself into this predicament. Hopefully... :)
kickuwithmyfist 1
Looks like they need to stop horsing around... Geeehh:}
quite_bored 9
Looks like you should never comment again.
1bluesky1 6
That was totally acceptable until the little hiccup at the end..
kickuwithmyfist 1
67-Your mother said hi...
bitter3ulogy 0
Boss