Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
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Comments (144)
melasaurus 3
definitely fyl
bahamamama25 0
OMG! this just happened to me last week! SUCKS!!!
purplemnm 9
I findz mah bucket!! but it haz barf init...;(
1sarcasticmind_fml_fml 0
wow. big deal. I'm sure the majority of the ppl on the page have dealt with something close to that...grow up.
xFaust_fml 12
It happened to me. Except that I had so much fever that I was delirious, so I don't remember the worst of it. I distinctly remember that it was easily one of yhe worst nights of my life though =) Couldn't eat much for more than two weeks after that. So I agree OP, it really sucks, but it's not really unique, if you see what I mean.
piping_hot_boii 0
damn that sux mate. and how the *** did he deserve it?? People who YDI vote for no reason, have no life
trillian_fml 0
at least you HAD a bucket
perdix 31
And a toilet. . . that worked -- LUXURY!
DynamicDave 11
Boohoo, you must be the ONLY person on the planet this has ever happened too! No, seriously. That's awful! How can your life go on? You may as well give up because it's all downhill from here. /sarcasm
lo54 0
honestly if he had food poising today he wouldn't have been on fml.... when I had the 24 our flu I threw up 10 times from 1 in the mornin till 5 in the afternoon!
Jas1234 0
When I had norwalk I threw up 13 times and had diarrhea within 5 hours... I win.
jbond98 0
wow ydi this not an fml
Loveya448 0
How exactly do they do deserve it? It may not be a FML, but I don't see how someone could deserve this to happen to them.
felttip 0
very bad. at least ur ejecting the toxins from ur body.