Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
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Comments (144)
perdix 31
Wait until you get to the "dry heaves" stage -- you'll look back lovingly at the time when you actually vomited stuff.
amiemariej 0
nor sure if this is a YTD or FML, who made the food that got you sick and what was the food?
crjs93 0
what does OP stand for
Onthecountof3 0
yea what does OP stand for
revcanon 0
so what? we've all been there.
mclovin99 0
been there it sux mostly when you get it on Christmas :/
terran0 0
I've had that before but not poising just sick
Menick47 0
That reminds me of that one South Park episode were kennys dad kept throwing up because of his balls, and kept taking a crap because of pregnancy pills. Ahhh south park... Oh yeah and FYL.
terran0 0
I had no bucket
terran0 0
I seen that south park one Kenny didn't want a brother
jeffreybean 3
been there done that, no fun at all