Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
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Comments (144)
caligurl10 0
and this is an fml?????wtf???
Diannaa 0
Reminds me of another FML I read, but the girl was also on her period...
mandifer327 0
This is nothing. Try having an intestinal parasite, which is like food poisoning except you do this nonstop for literally hours. That shit will **** you up.
Hitman585 0
This really isnt that big a deal.. Happens to me almost every winter just a simple stomach virus that goes away quick.
boredtotears 0
cause it's just not ecoli unless its firing out both ends!
Ahh_hell 0
It's amazing how many people could relate....same here..happened two years ago. About a month after laughing at my cousin for it happening to her. Karma is an expedient bitch
waNgEmsauCe 0
Wow. FYL indeed... at the same time
ezrl_ritvoi 0
done that... totally terrible... FYL
israelnotjacob 20
Trust me man it could be worse. One time I was puking and crapping at the same time traveling on a coach bus full of people I knew. And trust me, they didn't forget about it for quite some time.
tinanalynn 5
Omg I just had that flu ya same it suck sept I didn't make it to the toliet for the one end :(