Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
ctgirl12345 0
I have never personally expirienced that but it sounds horrible =[. that's one of the worst FML's that I have ever heard :(
Thunderbender 2
You were shooting out both ends? =o You should have spun around like a sprinkler : D Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.
Erniesduck123 0
Omg, you are like, the first person ever to have food poisoning! They call Staphylococcus aureus the two-bucket disease for a reason, and you are one of an estimated 76 million this year who will get a foodborne disease, not even one of the 325,000 who will be hospitalized, or one of the 5,000 who will die in the United States alone. How does this boring stuff get passed?
00FireSong00 0
Oh lovely. I feel for you, I had that once for a whole entire day once. I hope you feel better ! :)
thatonegirl2012 0
hope u feel better
korcagirl1 0
your stupid little dick is retarded.
sherleelee 4
Omg QQ anymore boo hoo im sure everyone has had a moment like this in there life the whole out the bum and mouth at the same combo happens su and gfo hahaha
GeneralElement 0
I've been there before!! I had both diearia, and was puking.
princesse_fml 0
currently doing so too :(
Skyke 0
that's gross. besides i've seen this FML like 5 times it's not funny anymore...
lorrainepaola 0
its not suppose to be funny.....>smart -_-