Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
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Top comments
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
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Comments (144)
nabzilla 0
ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.
im2good25 0
cry more
Skullcrusher 5
Ain't nobody givin' two ***** about that.
slatter 1
yh I've ha that once except I didn't have a bucket :'(
jf7609 0
Rocketing both ends!
noobgang7 5
heard this before except the girl was also on her period
focusf111 0
brutal man, been there before
thenormalguy 0
I've had that happen, it sucks man
joshy_boy 0
at least u had a bucket. this happened to me i had to puke on myself or poop on the floor
albinomustang 0
boo-******'-hoo, this happens to millions of people a day. Jesus, people are ******* nowadays.
VoodooGypsy 2
just remember to drink water, you'll get dehydrated really fast. I had this happen to me when I was 5, definitely a FML and the person isn't a "pussy".
marz88 0
E.coli, I would get checked out.
mmastermetallica 0
stop eating dick cheese XD
eaglesfan365 0
not an fml a f my day
pattheaninal 9
I'm pretty sure the story your refering to is about the girl who got sick by looking at blood and was on her period. but yeah I feel bad for the OP.
FMLowLife 0
if (thatIsTrue){ respond(); } Ouch... well at least it wasn't explosive when you used the can...
allanabreanne 0
no one wants to hear about your bathroom problems..
starzchick 0
I was thinking the exact same thing. Everyone gets sick like this sometimes, either from food poisoning or the Norwalk virus. I had the Norwalk virus a few years ago and was like this for 3 days. and wow, my life isn't ******. get over it
ash92_fml 0
'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.
miianah1 22
Look on the bright side: OP could've been a girl on her period, peeing and crying with a runny nose. All while having diarrhea and vomiting.
staciieee_x3 0
oh you poor, poor soul. get better soon, dude =)
Onthecountof3 0
this happened 2 me after I got my chicken pox booster shot
RedSnappah 0
Chinga Tu Vida
carbonmurderer 0
**** your life I like the Spanish
aussie_girl_fml_fml 0
wow. that's effort. using two outputs at the same time
AlcaSMT 0
Double output is fun, but not this kind!
Bradley_Dillon 39
Double input would be too. Maybe even hexa input (; eyes & ears are overrated.
thecool444 0
sounds like something on south park
ILIEKGIRLS 5
I'm pretty sure everyone has had this.
treesdevin 0
hahaa fuckk that not me
allmidnighteyes 11
i had it this past week. boo-*******-hoo. take some pepto bismol and get over it.
babybubz 0
I bet you were saying FML while you were spewing liquids from both ends.. so don't act like a tough guy. hooray for ass vomit lol poor you OP.. that sucks.
EllyH 0
We read about this not long ago, but the OP was a on her period. It sucks for you, but I think she "won" :)
XR6Falcon 0
I'm sure everyone has suffered this at some point in their life. Suck it up and get over it.
redracer12 0
I've never had this happen to me
BeeHappy_fml 0
yeah me either, quit being insensitive bastards everyone.
ringmybell_fml 0
that's gross. poor you, poopyman.