Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML
Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him, "Hey, I like your balls." FML
Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML
Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
What a crushing story!
anorexicbarbie 8
It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
dudemansoccer 0
I still don't get what happened
CateXOX 0
I don't really get how OP "crushed his nuts" with the ball, unless he was lying on his back and dropped the bowling ball on himself.
Bano360 25
Or ya know, sitting on a seat whilst spinning the ball.
prince122 0
I think after that he attempted to spin the bowling ball to spin of the tip of his penis which ended with testicles being crushed.
jdeshnerx3 0
wow you're dumb lol
trav747 0
dumbass
CateXOX 0
Heavy, shiny balls referring to the bowling balls, not your lack of balls, correct?
Fuk_Your_Life 2
Idiot
livin_plur 0
well since he's lacking balls the only ones he could talk about were the bowling balls
anorexicbarbie 8
It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?
redbluegreen 41
What a crushing story!
rakooligan 11
I know! OP must be nuts!
slightlypyro1996 4
such a smashing defeat!
OceanProtection 0
Care to teach me how to raise my nuts while holding a cup? :/. Havin issues here
freelove_fml 2
Just google "2 nuts 1 cup".
snippyxD 7
Dude, shut up.
mrahhhhh 21
I sincerely hope you smashed your balls beyond repair. You deserve the Darwin award for that shit, and the only way to qualify is to take yourself out of the gene pool.
DjeePee 25
That's what I was thinking. We should all be glad OP crushed his own balls. Not only because otherwise innocent balls were harmed, but merely because we don't want people with his intellect breeding.
thatoneguy3 0
lmfao xD
thebestof1984 0
Really? A few beers will make you that stupid?...
Ionodemon1995 0
I'm gonna have to say it Wasn't the alcohol...
coolkid_matt 11
You sound like the smart type xD goodjob..
ChantelRenaeee 0
You're a massive idiot. You know how much those balls weigh and whether you're in a drunken state or not, you should know better.
ambowew 7
You bloody cadburry! Learn how to handle your drinks. Sincerely, Your (now crushed) Nuts.
Blueglasscup 18
That's nuts! Heheheh get it!? Nuts! Okay I'm sorry... I'll go away.
ChantelRenaeee 0
thankyou very much.
smileeee_fml 0
ahahaha
Frelling 0
That's gay... balls were touching.