Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
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Top comments
FreakinChaps 0
I can't even imagine what kissing him would be like.
Redoxx_fml 22
And vodka is a substitute for mouthwash
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Comments (166)
shel13y 0
Buy him bacon flavored toothpaste. Maybe them he will brush :) plus, you can taste bacon every time you kiss him. Win-win situation.
MaryPoppins88 14
Omg ppl are so disgusting have fun when's his teeth have rotted away and he's all gums, but that must be what he's going for since he doesn't like to brush
MaryJaneGreen 9
That's sooo nasty! Im a smoker but I brush constantly, nobody wants to kiss a tar mouth, no matter how "mentholy" it is!!!
tld1966 0
Gross, I'd be dumping him!
Lightcrusade 9
Lmao I was just thinking about this last night!
redmnky21 8
and ur the moron that's going to marry this person who has no sense of personal hygiene
jdcg116 10
get him drunk and clean his mouth when he passes out
bonneh 0
My boyfriend is a non smoker and prefered it when i smoked menthols cause i tasted better. Still no excuse not to brush though, yuk. To everyone talking about smoking being disgusting, thats not what this post is about so why comment? Im smoke free for two months now, naybe try get him to quit but dont be an arse about it cause that will make him keep going.
1crabbygirl 10
Congratulations on 2 months' success!
bonneh 0
Thank you :)
ankoku 2
Tell him that toothpaste gives you a buzz if you brush for more then 15 min
mattorama 15
Doesn't brush his teeth and smokes, YUMMMMMM you found yourself a winner, honey.