Today, after I returned from business dinner at a hibachi restaurant, my wife decided she wanted sex for the first time in years on a weekday. We did it and I pooped a little on “our” stupid white comforter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Today, after going on a date with my girlfriend, we ended up having sex at her flat. When she took off her panties, I took a glance and saw poop stains on them. It turned me off. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML
Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like you had some unfinished business. You're going to have to put in some overtime to pay for a new stupid comforter and your wife's trauma.
HouseOfM 8
Why do so many people on here have issues with pooping? Especially with not being able to control it? If it's medication understandable, it happens Sometimes but you would think he would be aware of the possibilities. If it's diet What are all of you eating that this is a regular thing? I swear more than half of you need depends.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like you had some unfinished business. You're going to have to put in some overtime to pay for a new stupid comforter and your wife's trauma.
HouseOfM 8
Why do so many people on here have issues with pooping? Especially with not being able to control it? If it's medication understandable, it happens Sometimes but you would think he would be aware of the possibilities. If it's diet What are all of you eating that this is a regular thing? I swear more than half of you need depends.