Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning, only to find out that I had been brushing my teeth wrong for years. He told me you're supposed to let the toothpaste do its magic instead of rinsing it off. Is this true? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
Today, my dentist told me I have a cavity and blamed it on the "subpar" toothpaste I've been using - the same toothpaste he recommended six months ago at my last appointment. FML
Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
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Top comments
pleasedie 22
Congratulations ! You're dating one of those special types of idiots
gosh_mate 30
Find some scientific evidence to back up the view that you need to actually brush your teeth. If he still doesn't believe that, then tell him having decayed teeth isn't fun. His mouth is going to get real nasty, real soon.
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Comments (69)
hitmanoo 16
Hard to endorse that philosophy as a dentist.
Thatissarcastic 17
Mm gum disease and tooth decay, yummy.
rdenkewicz 11
4 out of 5 dentists would disagree with this and recommend oral b.
DerekDayOne 12
Your friend is what they consider in my culture a genius
UserError94 18
You uncultured swine
I_Bite 22
#25 Mr Potato Head?
pleasedie 22
Congratulations ! You're dating one of those special types of idiots
gosh_mate 30
Find some scientific evidence to back up the view that you need to actually brush your teeth. If he still doesn't believe that, then tell him having decayed teeth isn't fun. His mouth is going to get real nasty, real soon.
MrSassypants 34
But then he would say "I guess the dentist figured out how smart I was by finding out their conspiracy and they attacked me through my food."
Mathalamus 25
Not that soon. It may take years of not brushing just to get serious cavities.
zeffra13 31
#46 Cavities aren't the only problem. His breath will reek and his tongue will get plaque too. He'll be more likely to get mouth infections. Also some people are prone to get plaque growth in the folds of their tonsils and sometimes clumps fall out and there's this awkward moment where your throat can't decide if you should cough it up or swallow it. Which is why there's mouth wash.
glossykarma 19
considering tubes of toothpaste last a really long time I think they need to come up with a new market strategy.... Idk :/
FMLRITP 18
Some people just make me cringe
Matheo_fml 21
Ladies and Gentleman, what you are looking at here is a clear symptom of WTF..?!
Iwannarock1 19
Right! She should marry him.
wolfheartmoon 12
Actually, he's not totally wrong. Toothpaste too often can damage your enamel because of the abrasiveness of it. It's best to brush with just water and use mouthwash.
skylanderninja 14
Actually, he is totally wrong. The only way for toothpaste to damage your teeth is to brush directly after you're finished eating. This is because the acids in your food are at their peak, and will react to the acids in the toothpaste, hurting your teeth as a result. So wait 10-15 min before brushing, because that is the only way your teeth can be damaged by toothpaste.
wolfheartmoon 12
My dentist directly told me to brush twice a day, once with just water and then once with toothpaste. Too much damages your teeth.
UH60 26
Had a former teacher who was kind of...quirky. She had a thing about brushing her teeth A LOT, but her dentist told her she had to stop brushing so excessively because she was literally thinning down her teeth. Of course I doubt most people are obsessive about it like she seemed to be.
betweenwinds 18
23 - Fluoride in the toothpaste has two main roles. First, it's incorporated into the inorganic crystals that make up the enamel, converting them from hydroxyapatite to fluorohydroxyapatite. Fluorohydroxyapatite is much more resistant to the acids that the bacteria make than hydroxyapatite is, so it's harder to erode away during an acid attack. Secondly, the fluoride is transported in small amounts into bacteria in the form of hydrofluoric acid, which kills the bacteria. If you use "natural" ingredients (fluoride is natural), you miss out on both of these things, leaving your teeth more vulnerable to decay. Use a soft bristled toothbrush and a fine grained toothpaste or toothpaste for sensitive teeth (not whitening!) to avoid wearing down teeth while brushing.
Lalala579121 28
23 - Yes, flouride is poisonous in large enough amounts. That's why they say "don't swallow toothpaste" right on the box.
gogo44444 28
I don't see any kissing in the future...
AyeTee77 18
Tell him if he doesn't brush, then you won't brush either, and we'll see how he enjoys those plaque filled ******** then.
sweetbliss3 37
i think he'll be fine. her, not so much. she's the one that's going to have to smell her breath on his dick.
smokecloud_ 37
Or him smelling his dick on her breath.. But some people might me into that..