Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
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Top comments
FreakinChaps 0
I can't even imagine what kissing him would be like.
Redoxx_fml 22
And vodka is a substitute for mouthwash
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Comments (166)
tbenson0628 14
ewe!! and your gonna marry this disgusting person? blegh! plz tell me u gave back the ring and walked the hell away! ewe!! how do u kiss them? did the glint of yellow not catch ir eye the first date? im so grossed out!
xGoldenEvox 2
Ewh. That's gross!
Genoc123 5
Gross
fliplover 8
Why is he not your ex-fiance? I'm sure you can do better!
firemedic919 0
say it with me move on it gets better
aeisha26 12
Ummn yuck much :-
MrLoux 6
Tell him I say he is a f#%king idiot.
snafu63 0
And you're marrying this dipshit? You two must be on a similar intelligence level.
Northsidebill 4
You get no sympathy if you marry someone this stupid.
token_blackguy 18
this cant be a new thing for him and he's your fiancé? lol picked a winner.