Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend thinks brushing his teeth is unnecessary, because, "the world is going to end because of climate change anyway." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML
Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
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Top comments
FreakinChaps 0
I can't even imagine what kissing him would be like.
Redoxx_fml 22
And vodka is a substitute for mouthwash
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Comments (166)
BunBunBabe 8
Tell him he needs to chew the cigarette for that to work, ******* idiots
kalbrek009 20
Mmm, like licking a minty ashtray! JK. Your fiancé is really dumb if he believes that....take him to a dentist who can set him straight. Maybe try to find him a toothbrush that looks like a cigarette & tastes like menthol? Spencer's might have just such a gift.
mavic92 5
Sorry to say, but you have a moron for a fiancé
badactor009 0
Really? She knows this and stays with him? What does that make her, brilliant? Let me help out. He IS a disgusting pig and she is no better for settling for him and his less than trailer park in the Ozarks standards.
mavic92 5
Sorry to say, but you have a moron for a fiancé
HurryUp_and_BUY 6
I guess love really does conquer all because if I were you he wouldn't be my boyfriend, let alone fiancé with thought processing like that.
blaaz 0
Tell him menthol could dry his gums out and cause legions and crap which equals pain lots of pain. Good luck!
tbenson0628 14
it prevents death? wha.... lol
Ambykins 6
Aaaaand you're marrying this person? You must really love him. Good luck to the both of you.
om102907 4
Thats just nasty
drlove78843 6
smoking menthol makes your breath sucks less than smoking regular cigarettes but still suck.