Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
fishthing 0
lol "to drink the bubbly." I lol'd. That sucks though, sorry about the phone. I once had a dream where I went to punch someone and actually punched the wall in my sleep. Bruised knuckles for the next few days.
penguinazul 13
This is why we use waterbottles! Or if you want to get creative, use a sippy cup! I do that some times XD
TurboTalon 0
It's called a water bottle man.... I'd never leave an open glass overnight for fear of what would fall/crawl into it and end up in my mouth when I took a sip half asleep... maybe swallowing a spider can be your next FML.
Ucla_cupcake 0
=
Ucla_cupcake 0
FYL OP and yea, you kinda do Deseret it for keeping a glass of water. I use a water bottle or keep my iPhone under my pillow. I'd be if my got ruined.
tekcor 2
Not that the OP will ever read this, but a glass of water is not very much. Place the phone in a bag of rice overnight. The rice will pull all moisture from the phone and the odds are very good that you will have your phone back. OTOH, if the glass fell and broke your screen, might as well just wait and buy the new model next week.
xXLeeLeeXx 2
get a bottle with a lid
ynnhoj 2
op is definently an alcoholic
miasanmia 0
Iphone users' superiority complex never ceases to amaze me.
Lisa89 3
that's why i never leave cups of water next to my phone...
youthink_fml 0
A glass of water next to your phone at night - who the hell could have seen that happening? YDI. You're one of those people that does things without thinking about what they're doing.