Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML
Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML
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Top comments
tygerarmy 35
Sucks, next time don't leave your phone by liquids, or get an awesome case like I have. How'd your wife react?
XxXPeace2thelose 0
well that's sucks =P
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Comments (161)
LilaBear 2
that's why I keep a water bottle beside my bed, and not a glass of water.
llerraf2 1
you don't move anything but your eyes when you are dreaming. that stage of sleep leavea you temperarely parlyzed beside your eyes. this is a fake.
Nikie1986 0
It's not fake... I talk and move a lot in my sleep when I'm dreaming. I've elbow dropped my fiance, kicked him etc. not to mention hold full convo's with people while sleeping.
Humanoid_fml 0
If this is real and you really do physically act out what you're doing in your dreams, you have a very rare sleep disorder called rapid eye movement behavior disorder and you need to get treatment.
Nikie1986 0
I know I have sleep issues, it sucks always feeling tired lol. I was just pointing out to the person (#154) that this guys not a fake because you're not supposed to be able to move. Some people don't follow the norm.
Veganpm 0
another ifail!
InsaneGenius 0
My iPhone has been dropped in the toilet twice and it's still fine:) You just have to thoroughly dry it.
colin1224 0
Well maybe if you didn't have a ******* iphone this wouldn't have happened! Android rules!
yankfan89 27
Your poor wife gets to be woken up by you headbutting her
cruza96 5
"I am now sleeping on the couch" is how this should have ended!
LionHeart_Angel 0
Hahahaha I'm sorry but that is just so funny